All for You.

Chapter 31 - Testing

Chapter 31 - Testing

— Tris

"Please don't tell me you knew about all of this and didn't tell me," I rest my hands on my head, my legs across Tobias's on our couch. Indy snores quietly in his bed across the room, his paws moving in little motions occasionally as he dreams.

"I had no idea, Tris. I haven't been a part of the whole thing since you've been home, and I kind of like it better this way."

"I can't see myself going through testing."

He nods.

"But I feel like I have to."

"You don't have to though, Tris." He sets his hand on my left leg that is in his lap gently, as if he wasn't sure which leg was which. I jerk at the touch, but I'm glad that he doesn't pull his hand away.

I need to get use to it.

"I mean, I have to go see Dr. Scott in two days anyways, and I'm going to be there. I wanted to visit Caleb, Cara and Beatrice though while we were there but I don't know how long the testing will take."

"Are they getting the tests done?"

"I'd be shocked if they didn't."

"True."

He still hasn't moved his hand and I feel myself grow anxious.

"Is this alright?" I can tell he feels my anxiety.

"It should be."

He moves his hand lightly, just barely brushing his thumb across my jean leg covering my calf.

"Look at me," He says. I can't find myself to look over at him, I just stare at Indy across the room, trying to shut out any idea of paranoia.

"Tris."

"I know you would never hurt me, and I want to get over the fact that it doesn't hurt when anyone touches my leg, but I can't Tobias. I just can't. I try hard to let it be normal, but it's not. The reality is I can barely feel your hand from nerve damage, and the idea of feeling nothing scares the shit out of me."

"If I wasn't sure I'm getting sick, I would totally kiss you right now."

I stare at him, tears of stress brimming my eyes. I'm mad how he turned this into a joke, how he changed the topic completely. He flashes a smile at me and I feel myself melt and I can't help but smile.

He almost made me forget about his hand on my leg.
Almost is good enough for me.

"Why do you say things like this when you know we can't?"

"Because I love teasing my fiancé," he smirks.

"Or torturing yourself," I smirk back.

"Tobias, seriously though, what should I do?"

"It's not my call."

I groan mentally.
Sometimes I feel like I just need someone to tell me what to do.

"I know," I admit.

We both are quiet for a little while, his thumb lightly rubbing circles on my calf.
I barely can feel it.
The idea terrifies me.
Nerve damage is terrifying.

"I'm going to go to bed. I'm really not feeling too well," he moves to stand, his hand finally leaving my leg. Upon hearing movement, Indy perks up from his bed across the room. He stretches, his tongue sticking out while he yawns and comes over by me, sitting on the floor while Tobias heads to the bathroom.