All for You.

Chapter 55 - Not Today

Chapter 55 - Not Today

— Tris

Thinking back to the past month of my pregnancy gives me a headache.

First, the good news of my leg, for the first time ever, working with me and actually healing.
It's shocking.

The next day my midwife came to the house to meet Tobias and I. That day I learned more than ever that I'm not ready to have a baby, yet alone give birth.
I had a panic attack while she was sitting in my living room just from her talking about how things will happen once I go into labor.
She reassured that she's seen women with worse anxiety than me at this stage in their pregnancy, but she did attempt to calm me down with Tobias.

The week following was even busier, because it started off with getting my official due date: June 22. We saw our son on the ultrasound monitor for the last official time with my OB before he will be born.
And when she told me that, I had another panic attack.

The idea of giving birth makes me freak out. In no way am I joyful or excited when I think about it.

That week was rough too, because One was growing tremendously. I managed to gain four pounds that week alone, and my doctor said that probably two of those pounds were directly his little body growing.

And then there was last week: my baby shower that Shauna and Chris threw.
I was so glad that my body, and baby, cooperated that day.

I got more baby clothes and toys than I know what to do with at that shower. The nursery is packed with gift bags that I'm still slowly unwrapping for the second time since their original opening at the party.

Caleb and Cara came for that whole weekend with Bea and stayed with Will and Chris. It was fun getting to spend time with them and see my niece again.

"Good morning, beautiful," I'm drawn from my thoughts when Tobias wakes next to me.

Today's June 18, I'm thirty-nine weeks pregnant.
I could go into labor at any second.

"Not today," I whisper as he presses his lips to my massive bump.

"You don't know that, Tris," he laughs.

"Neither do you," I raise my eyebrow at him and he cups my cheek.

We lay facing each other for a while until a Braxton hicks contraction makes me uncomfortable and I moan rolling away from Tobias.

Like usual, Tobias begins to panic, asking me if I'm okay and coddling me protectively.

"God Tobias, I'm fine!" I snap, suddenly irritated from his obsession with thinking every little pain means I'm going into labor. "What's going to happen when I actually go into labor? Are you going to call Erudite and make them broadcast it to the whole city?" I'm distracted from the pain when I yell at him, but when the false contraction stops I begin crying hysterically from what I said to him.

"You're too nice to me," I sob into his chest, One kicking real hard, clearly upset.

"I'm not nice either, Tris," he chuckles and I feel his hand laced in my hair. "That's why we get along so well. You have an excuse, imagine how terrible I'd be if I were the one carrying the baby." He remarks gaining a light laugh from me.