All for You.

Chapter 39 - Pain

Chapter 39 - Pain

— Tris

All I feel is pain.

I suppress a groan as I stretch my legs and move my hands to my face.

I can feel my face.
All I remember is that there was a point where I couldn't, but now I can.

I feel myself blinking, but there is no sight for the first few blinks. Then slowly shapes are formed, then come color, but everything is fuzzy as I hear my Dad's voice speak.

"You're alright. They just lowered your peace serum to a minimum, you started hyperventilating from it and I think they had you on too much to begin with anyways."

"Where's Tobias?"

"He's in Erudite, he's alright. I'm not sure the extent of his injuries, but he's alright."

"He went out to fight? God I'm marrying a dumbass."

My father ignores my language and I am grateful for it. I blink a few times more and I finally can see his face without a blur.

"How bad was I? Under the serum I mean."

"You thought your stomach was pretty bad, you asked about Tobias so many times I lost count, and you were talking really fast," He laughs.

I lift my shirt and the ice pack on top of it to look at my stomach.

"Yep, hurts as bad as it looks." I sigh wincing as I exhale.

"We're in Amity?"

"Yeah. Every infirmary in the city of filled."

"How many casualties?"

"Not a huge amount. Most were from the prison break in Candor from guards shooting at escapees."

"What happened?" I drag out the words.

"We'll talk later, alright. Just rest. Your mother has been dying to see you, each time she stopped by it was a period of time where you passed out from the peace serum."

"No," I grab his hand as he stands. "Please don't leave me."

My eyes meet his and I feel mine moisten.

The last time I was left alone was when I lost Ian.
Then Derrick showed up and everything really went to hell.

"Alright," he sits back in the chair where he was and takes my hand in his, stroking my hair with his one hand.

I feel myself dose off from the nulling pain radiating from my stomach and traveling through my whole body.

I'm just numb when I wake, but not the kind of numb like the high of the peace serum.

My vision quickly goes from blur to clear this time compared to the past. My father is right where we was when I passed out, and alongside him stands my mother.

She smiles but doesn't say anything, bending over and pressing her lips to my forehead, her hand cupping my face.

"My sweet Beatrice."

I try to talk, but only a grunt comes through as the numbness is gone and all my pain returns at once. I cry out, twisting awkwardly, probably making my pain worse by doing so.

My father's hand leaves mine and suddenly I panic.

I feel as if I am alone again.

"Honey," I hear my mother's voice, but it is like I am underwater and my hearing is muffled. "Beatrice, stay with me, alright. Shh, honey you're okay."

"Andrew you literally cannot let go of her hand," my mother reprimands him in a worried tone.

I feel my stomach grow cold.
He let go of my hand to get the ice pack.

My mother's hand is much smaller than my father's, much warmer as well.

"How long has it been?"

"Since the attack? Two weeks tomorrow."

"How long have I been here?"

"Today is your fourth day, yesterday was your first day off the peace serum, and you were only awake for a little while before going unconscious," my father responds.

"And Tobias is fine. Cara has been keeping an eye on his chart at Erudite. He took a good blow to the head and has a concussion, and he dislocated his shoulder, but he is alright." My mother comments.

I nod, the motion giving me extreme pain.

I almost wish I was back on the peace serum.

Almost.

"What happened?" I ask, sitting up a little in the bed wincing. The ice pack makes noise as I move.

My parents look at each other, wondering where to start most likely.

"The whole story hasn't been mapped out yet, but it was New York, and most of them are dead now. It was a final attempt attack to take over the city, and they started by targeting Dauntless to gain military, then their plan was to murder each leader and replace them with their own."

"They found West?"

"Yes, and he was killed."

"Josh?" I feel my heart sink.

"They only found West and whomever was in charge here at Amity. All the others were spared."

"Okay."

"Derrick?"

"The leader of the attack?" My father clarifies and I nod. "He died, I guess he was already dying of heart disease when he came."

We are silent for a moment, I personally am in relief to know for sure that Derrick is dead. I was not sure if I dreamed it when the Candor man told me, because I feel unconscious just afterwards.

"I don't know how much you knew of him," my father starts. "But the head ambassador of your faction—"

"Ian's dead, isn't he."

I sigh deeply when neither of them respond, confirming my suspicion.

"Crushed in the explosion aftermath?" I ask, my voice higher and cracking.

"I'm so sorry dear," my mother strokes my hand.

Within the next few days I find myself in the back of a car with my parents driving into the city.

I'm mobile enough to be able to go to their house, my old house.

I move slowly, limping on my right side from my stomach, but naturally am extremely untrusting of my left leg to catch me under the pressure.

I grip my fathers arm tightly as I make my way from the car to the front door. My mother went ahead of us to open the door and hold it open.

"I can't do those stairs dad," I gasp, extremely fatigued as I stand in the entryway I grew use to during my childhood.

The plan was to slowly get up the stairs and to my old childhood bedroom. That way, the bathroom was just across the hall, and my parents could bring me any food or water I needed from downstairs.

"Alright, lets get you to the couch," he nods something to my mother, and I almost snap in irritation as to whatever they're keeping from me.

Pain and grief is making me someone I am not.

I find myself basically crying by the time I lower myself to the couch. I lie back on my left side, my whole body aching.

"You're alright," my mother strokes my hair as I feel myself shaking from the pain.

At some point I end up rolled back onto my back and my father places the ice back on its usual spot on my stomach.

I miss Tobias.
So so much.