How many hours had gone by already since you woke up. 2...3...4...you weren't quite sure. Your body felt tired and heavy from the past events of last night. Crying, screaming...overthinking. Your anxiety was like the wind...it just followed you where ever, whenever.
But that wind was now a heavy storm...and you had no shelter that could protect you.
Your hands made it way under the cover of the bed to your stomach...a baby...well an embryo was currently inside you. Did you want it or did you not want it?
You didn't know...
Having a child meant great responsibility. First of all, you weren't financially stabled, you still have university to complete, you don't know how to look after a child as a parent, there were still many things you had yet to achieve and you were still young.
You had been thinking about it from the moment you found out. A baby, your and Namjoon's baby. If you decided to keep the child, you'll have a family...you and Namjoon will be parents, you two can spend hours and hours buying amazing cute things for the little one, from clothe too toys, books, decoration for his or hers room. The baby would have your eyes and nose, they could have Namjoon's beautiful dimples and plump lips, perhaps they would grow up to become a smart and serious person like Namjoon, or a person who's all over the place and can never have an organised day like you...
The three of you would eat breakfast and dinner together. Cry over their first word...their first step...her them say mummy or daddy and as they grow up you can take them to school, movies and Christmas and Halloween...there was so many beautiful scenarios rushing through your head...
You softly smiled. An image of Namjoon holding a bundle of joy and cooing to it came to your head...he was smiling at the laughing baby...his eyes slightly teary, a proud smile on his face....it looked so beautiful.
You let out a soft sigh. You closed your tired eyes shut again,.
You had decided what you were going to choose. Some may say that it was a bit to soon to decide but deep down inside, you knew this was right.
You reopened your eyes before slowly pushing yourself up from the warm bed. The space next to you was empty...Namjoon wasn't next to you. It felt strange waking up to an empty space next to you, by now you were so costumed to his warmth that you felt like you could lose your mind if you didn't feel it at least once per day.
"He must be in one the guest rooms", you spoke to no one. Finally after a few seconds of quietly thinking to yourself, you got up from the bed onto your feet...it was time.
