The Coming of Nico di Angelo

In Which Kissing Happens

CHAPTER SUMMARY

Harry uses blackmail to begin to force Nico to answer his questions.

BEGINNING NOTES

Chapter Rating: Mature
Content Warning: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Self Harm, Suicidal Themes
Word Count: 4595

Gee, just look at those trigger warnings? This is going to be a fun chapter, won't it?

Special thanks to Viviana, for being my Italian translator as well as my wonderful artist.

And all the characters are owned by J.K. Rowling, or Rick Riordan.

____________________NICO____________________

Nico's worst fear had come true. His worst enemy knew about his cutting. Camp would find out if he didn't cooperate with him. Will. Hazel. Percy. Jason. Reyna. Annabeth. Piper. Leo. Frank... they'd know how messed up he was. They'd abandon him. He'd be alone. Again.

But betrayal was the only other option: betrayal of the only people in the universe who cared about him, no matter how many times he messed up. All Nico knew for sure was this: either way, they'd leave, and there was no way he'd survive such heartbreak twice.

But what kind of person was he, to choose betrayal? If Percy was the one with a secret, would he do the same? No, he'd take social ostracization if it meant staying loyal. Why couldn't Nico be strong enough to do that? Why couldn't he act like the hero everyone told him he was?

Still, it didn't matter what Percy would do. Or anyone else, for that matter. The only person that mattered had already made his choice, and he'd chosen selfishness. He'd been paralyzed with fear, then spilled his guts. The bare minimum, sure, but Harry would press him further, and Nico had no intention of lying. If Harry found any inconsistencies... it was all over.

He hadn't even made it into the common room before the urge to cut took hold. He darted into the nearest bathroom and dragged the blade in deeper and deeper until the memories hazed and the pain released pain. He cried until he passed out in a pool of his own blood, only to wake up a few hours later and repeat the process upon remembering. Whether it came as a blessing from the gods or the result of blood loss, Nico slept without interruption for once. No Teddy, no dreams, just silent bliss.

When he woke the next morning, Nico longed for that haze of nothingness again. He stared at the new scars on his arms, formed from lack of ambrosia, and wondered what would happen if he just gave in. Slit his wrists instead of his arm. Let the fog take hold once and for all. Never leave the bathroom, never betray his friends to Harry, never finish the quest...

He'd make sure to be reborn the second he touched ground in Hades. No reason to chance seeing his father, or running into one of his friends, should they search for him in the Underworld. No, he'd run into the Lethe's welcoming arms and forget his miserable life once and for all. He'd be reborn; maybe beside Bianca's soul.

All it would take is a flick of his sword; one little slice, and he'd take control of the only thing in his life that he still could.

Nico's heart pounded at the thought; he glanced at the door to the bathroom. Silence.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten.

Nothing. Silence.

"I'm sorry," Nico whispered to no one in particular. "Teddy, Father, I'm sorry I failed you. Percy, Annabeth, Piper, Jason, Reyna, Frank, Leo... I'm sorry for any pain I'll cause you. Will, Hazel... I'm so sorry I had to love you. I'm sorry."