Just another blog - candybeer

f*ck off

i wanna write, i wanna let my feelings into pages. i wanna forget the feelings that i already wrote, but i cant, i still sinking in an ocean of words and feelings that never ends. 

everytime i listen to an old song, the memory appears and i just drop my tears like everyday. 

why me? what did i do? is that normal that i feel so down and alone? its been so long and the feeling just grows.

i remember that i felt so annoying, so useless and small. i felt that everybody had the right to make me feel less, because that's how i raised myself. 

i felt that songs were my best friends, nobody could understand me better than them, so when u talk with people is hard because they are not songs and they don't understand you. So sometimes is better to shut up and pretend its fine.

when its not, im sinking, i'm dying and it feels like hell. i don't wanna live anymore and i don't fucking care about nothing. I never wanted to feel like this, i never looked for it or asked for it.

people just made my life hell, most of people that i know just made it worse. They came to my life to fuck everything up and then they left or they still fucking everything up.

they think that they have the right to tell me what to feel or the way i have to confront stuff. They push me to tell them what's going on, when the truth is that i don't even know.

is just, everything is useless and i don't find sense. im tired.

i just hope that someday someone realises that minimizing people's problems won't resolve them. 

fuck off