Just another blog - candybeer

it's getting late

i think it's getting late, i feel how my body is more ready to hurt itself, it just doesn't care at all anymore how i feel.

i used to cry at nights, now i don't have tears i'm just tired of the same shit. 

it hurts and i don't know why, i hurt myself but in my chest there's something stronger than that, it's almost like it can't compare to any sort of pain that i've ever felt.

i can notice how people is getting even more bored of me everyday, i can see how useless i am, i can't see or imagine my future anymore. 

why is this so hard, why can't i just sleep and dont wake up ever again, it would be painless

even dying is painful but not as painful as living every single day with the same sensation in you chest

the sensation of feeling useless, not good enough, ugly at society's eye, looking in the mirror and wishing that what i'm seeing changes fast cause i can't take it anymore, feeling alone and dead inside. 

cause there's no need of death to be dead, you can be dead inside... dead living 

and it's even painful because u still feeling the same shit, everyday but you're just dead inside, you don't feel as you used to and you can't go back to that feeling anymore. you feel worse and worse everyday, you do things that you didn't thought you would do, you are out of who you thought you were, because even you idealized yourself when the rest did.