kpop x reader✔️

NCT|Johnny|Jumped Pt.2 {REQUESTED}

This was requested by BangtannnShips

WARNING:
Suicide and depression is in the chapter please don't read or force yourself to read if you don't like this king of thing.
━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

-3 Year Time Skip-

He was stood looking at the head stone. Still to this day he couldn't believe that she were gone from everyones life. For three years he has had the same nightmare of that night of her. He always woke up in cold sweat but he knew that she wouldn't be there to answer his call to explain his nightmare.

"Hey Y/N" he said.

He had no emotion in his voice. It was blank like his facial expression.

"I brought you more flowers" he said walking to the side of her grave not waking to be disrespectful.

He took the brown, crispy dead flowers out the grave flower pot and replaced them with big, blooming roses, fresh and tall. He put the dead flowers in a plastic bag he had brought with him. Then he grabbed the battle that was filled with rest clean water and put it in the pot and over the head stone to clean it.

As he rubbed the cloth over the letters and numbers he hadn't realised the river of tears streaming down his face. He cleaned it well. That was the only thing that he could do for her. And that was just to clean her head stone.

He stood up and read the lettering on the head stone.

'Y/N L/N
(Birthday)-November 14th 2015
Y/N was a loving, kind person. She always put her best into everything and was friends with everyone. Sadly the wrong decision came in her life that she took and now has left many loved ones, but she will continue to live on in their hearts. Especially her best friend that she treasured the most than anyone else, Johnny'

He knew he didn't deserve to have his name on her grave stone. He will never forgive himself for what he has done and caused. Her parent didn't know what fully happened. They didn't want to know and that also broke Johnny's heart. They didn't want to know what happened to there own child that will never come back to them.

Johnny hates how everyone has moved on in there lives from the incident. He's the only one who fully cares now. He could see clearly now, no one ever cared for her, they used her. He didn't want to come off to her that he was using her because he didn't. He truthfully loved her but felt like she didn't. He tried to get rid of the feeling of loving her, yet that caused the greatest harm in his life.

He broke up with his girlfriend after that day. He didn't have any contact with anyone from his school. One thing he did remember from her was when they were telling each other's dreams.

-Flash Back-

"Johnny~ what do you wan to do when you leave school" she asked cutely.

"Umm I want to be an idol! I really want to be in a group and preform" Johnny smiles eating his lunch.

"Promise me that you will become an idol, you'll be the best idol there ever will be. I'll buy all your albums, download all your songs, and I'll make sure to attend your concerts" she smiled happily, starting to eat her lunch as well.

"You can be my number one fan" he smiled and she nodded.

"And I always will be no matter what and that's a promise" she smiled and held out her pinky, he gladly wrapped his around her small one.

-End Of Flash Back-

"I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer Y/N, I've got a concert tonight and I need to get to practicing. I'll see you soon" he then gently kissed the top of the stone before walking away slowly.

He arrived and his group started to practice. He kept messing up which made everyone frustrated. They told him he needed to get his act together for the show.

Hours passed and they were on in five minutes. That soon went by and they were on stage. All his members were smiling and having fun. He didn't smile. Why would he. Today wasn't a day he wanted to smile. The concert went on for a few hours. At the end of it they all said little messages, some were emotional. Mainly all. Especially Johnnys.

"Today would officially be three years since I lost someone special to me. I lost the person I loved most in my life. She was beautiful, smart funny, she was just perfect in my eye. The only thing that she said was wrong with her was her depression. She suffered from it terribly. I tried so hard to make her better and make it better. I grew feelings for her but I felt like she didn't love me back. We were in our last year of high school. I got a girlfriend that wasn't her. I ignored her. I only thought of myself and not her. Three years ago today at this time I saw her running and crying. I chased after he but the time she passed me was at least two minutes. I arrived to where she ran. It was a bridge. I shouted her name and told her not to do it. All she did was throw an envelope at me and said goodbye. She jumped. I was inches away from grabbing her hand to try and pull her back up but I was too late. She fell in to the river and died. My best friend and love of my life died because of suicide. I love her so much. I LOVED HER SO MUCH AND I'VE LOST HER. Every night for three years I've had the same nightmare. I go through the same thing every night. It's become a routine everyday to say to myself that she isn't coming back. Y/N L/N I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR WHAT ME AND EVERYONE AT SCHOOL PUT YOU THROUGH, YOU NEVER DESERVED THIS AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T  LOVE ME. just please come back" he shouted the last part.

He fell to his knees. He physically couldn't say anymore words. He was crying too hard. His members came around and hugged him in a circle. Everyone, fans, Johnny, his members, staff, security. We're all crying.

She walked through everyone. Ghostly tears fell down her face. She walked through His members to get to him.

"I'm sorry Johnny, but we can't change the past but know I will always love you and no one can change that. Keep living. Please keep smiling seeing you at my grave today made me sad not seeing even a little smile. I love you Johnny I'm sorry" she didn't know if he could hear her.

He heard it all. He could see her but he heard it.

"Y/N I love you. I'm sorry for everything. I love you so much. Please forgive me. I'll live just for you and I'll try to smile again. Thank you" he whispered and you smiled.

You hugged him one last time before you finally disappeared. Forever this time. Going to a different place where everyone or most people go when they die. Heaven.

━━━━━━ ◦ ❖ ◦ ━━━━━━

First Uploaded: 14/11/2018
Edited: 16/01/2019