Cornered

Chapter 40

Chapter 40

Wala nang sasakit pa na makita at mapanood ang mahal mong ikinakasal sa iba. If I could be more stronger. Kung kaya ko lang..   Sana....

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This feeling... It is not right....

It is like I'm a slave and a chain is attached on my neck... So suffocating... So unpleasant...

This darkness... It's hugging me, like it wants to go underneath my skin...

And this melancholy, surrounding everything, blocking everything that my eyes could percieve...

I want to die... Really...

Unti-unting bunukas ang pinto ng simbahan. Agad na may nag-flash ng camera. Everyone is looking at me, like I'm some shining, beautiful, and fragile glass. And just like glass, I'm transparent, easy to manipulate, easy to break.

I stepped forward. It is a church, a way to God's place. But I didn't feel like I'm in done sort of place like heaven.

I looked at him. He is pinned on the cross, wounds are all over his body. But it is like he is looking pity on me.

Is my decisions right? Could you tell me if I'm wrong? Please... I really, really want to know...

"Hey, sweetie? Are you all right?" Bumalik ako sa aking ulirat. Nasa gilid ko na pala sina mama at papa.

"H-Ha? O-Opo.." Agad kong sagot.

"Then, why are you crying? It didn't seems like, it is tears of joy..." Saka ko pa lang napansin na umiiyak na pala ako. Pupunasan ko na sana ng pinigilan ako ni mama. "Ako na" sabi na. Agad syang kumuha na panyo at marahang pinunasan ang mukha ko.

"S-Sorry po ma... Hindi ko lang po talaga alam kung ano dapat ang maramdaman ko." Pgliwanag ko.

"Are you not happy?" She asked. Dad was just standing behind me. His hands were on my shoulders. It is like.... Sort of comforting.

Hindi ako sagot sa tanong ni mama. Tinignan ko lang sya pabalik. Masaya nga ba ako? Sasaya nga ba ako sa buhay na pinili ko? But I had no other choice.

"It's alright that you don't speak. But listen to me Gwen. If you're heart is telling you that you are not happy with it then run away. I won't stop you and even your dad won't. You still have choice. It is still not too late... And it will never be." Lalo pa ata akong maiiyak sa sinabi ni mama. Agad ko syang on yakap.

"Thank you, ma..." But did I really have to run if I didn't feel like I'm going to be happy with it. Dapat ba talagang tumakbo ako kung ayaw ko?

I'm glad that I have parents like them. A mother that is always been by my side, caring and always guiding me. And a father that is always watching closely and never leaving my side. I'm lucky to have them.

"Tara na at baka maubos pa uli ang make up mo sa kakaiyak." I chuckled. Pinunsan muli ni mama yung luhang pumatak na naman.

Hinawakan ni mama ang kamay ko at ikinawit ko naman ang isa ko pang kamay sa braso ni papa. Naglakad na muli kami.

Karamihan ng tao dito ay kaklase namin nung highschool. Mayroon din nung college. Ang iba naman ay medyo matatanda na. Probably mga nasa 40's to 50's na. Baka mga old colleagues nina mama at tita.

Then I saw Draven. Smiling all the to me. He's waiting and I felt scared. Scared for being tied with him.

Malapit na ako sa kanya. I don't like it. I want to run. But my mind won't. It is like it's controlling my whole.