Cornered

Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Whishing for the end

Am I making everything messed up? I just want to be with her. I'm always waiting, and I'm still waiting and even if it takes forever, I'm going to wait for her.

But why it is like this.... It is vague.  Is it what they called 'karma'?. Everything that happened. Is it because of my wrong decisions? Of my impudence? Or my carelessness? I'm puzzled.... And everytime I'm near to the end and almost finished the puzzle I'm working on, there is something who will step on my work and ruined everything. And then I need to start to a scratch all over again.

It hurts.....

I hate it.....

Is it my punishment.....

But it is too far from a punishment....

Then what is it?

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I fely lonely. Everytime I'm not with him, I felt very lonely. Why I badly wants to be by his side. It is like he is my drug. Like he is the water that fills my emptiness from within. But when he go away, it is like the water, in an instant, drained itself. Always finding a way to escape, everytime I fall to a deep sleep.

But as the time goes by, the emptiness I'm feeling is growing and continuously growing, making me to want him more. And it is like I don't want to sleep anymore to see that we are never going to meet again.

"Thinking of something?" I was startled when I realized that he is already in front of me. Face to face and only an inch apart.

"H-Huh! S-Sorry!" Parang umakyat lahat ng dugo ko sa mukha..." Lalo pa akongnha. He chuckled.

"You are really cute..." Lalo akong namula dahil sa papuri nya. First time nya akong sinabihan ng cute. Ginulo nya ang buhok ko at kinuha yung plastic na dala nya ata kanina na nakapatong sa may night stand. "Here... You like ice cream right?"

"Uh... Yes..." Kinuha ko yon. Binigyan naman nya ako ng kutsara.

"May nadaanan akong ice cream parlor kanina. And they are selling rare flavors of ice cream. So I thought na magugustuhan mo. Kaya bumili ako. It's peach and raspberry falvor." Ngumiti ako.

"Thanks!" Agad kong inupakan yung ice cream. Umupo sya sa kama. He leaned backward and his arms as the support.

"If you want foods again just tell me. I'll buy it tomorrow." Natigil ako sa pagkain ko at tumungo. It's not going to happen anymore. "Huh? May problema ba?"

"N-Nothing. J-Just I think hindi mo na magagawa" why does it hurts so much na mag paalam sa kanya. Bakit parang di ko kaya. Itutuloy ko ba? O kahit wag na?

"Is that so?" I slowly nodded.

"I'm discharging here tomorrow. Okay lahat ng mga test ko kanina at wala nang problema. Maayos na ako sabi ng doctor. Just di ko pa rin maalala lahat ng mga nangyari. That's why I need to attend counseling every four days with a psychologist." He chuckled. "Is there anything funny?" I asked him.

"No! But I know everything. Alam kong madidischarge ka na bukas." Parang umakyat lahat ng dugo ko sa ulo. Nainis ako dahil pakiramdam ko pinaglaruan nya ako.

"Then why did you pretended na hindi mo alam!" I shouted in anger. It is difficult to say goodbye to him, but then for him, it is like just a normal scenery of everyday. Parang ayos lang sa kanya na wala lang para sa kanya. That's what I'm fury about. And I hate it.

"Are you mad?" Parang lalong nagliyab ang inis ko. He unbelievable... So insensitive... So pessimistic.

"Hmp! Wala!" Pagtataray ko.