Forbidden (Punk Luke Hemmings)

forty three

Daniella

Luke and I lay in his bed, my head resting on his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around me, and our legs entangled in a beautiful mess. It seemed like forever since we last woke up this way. We watched as the sunlight slowly enlightened the room, however we didn’t move. It had been a long time since the two of us had woken up, together, in his apartment, and I think that neither of us wanted to ruin the moment that was taking place right now.

My eyes studied every inch of Luke, taking in his each and every feature as if I had only just met him. My fingers gently traced the outline of the tattoo’s on his bare chest. 

He played with the ends of my hair, and kissed my forehead every now and then. Not a word was spoken, and I don’t believe that any needed to either.

It had been hours since we first awoke in the same positions in which we had fallen asleep, and neither of us had moved. He rested his left hand on his chest, and I laced my fingers with his. He looked down at our intwined hands, and then to me; the smile never leaving his face.

“I haven’t felt this happy in a long time” he spoke.

“Neither” I grinned, kissing the corner of his mouth.

“I really missed this,” he said softly.

“Huh?” I asked. “This,” he repeated, “I mean, as much as I enjoy taking you out and spoiling you on dates, I like it when we’re just here, watching the sunrise. Just you and I, nothing; and no one else.” he explained in depth.

I nodded, understanding what he had implied. “Me too. I could stay here forever,” I smiled, pecking him on the lips.

He unlaced our fingers, and began playing with mine. It was always a habit of his whenever we were laying in bed together like this, and out of all things to miss, this was one of them. I missed the tingly feeling which shot through my fingers, and soon enough my entire being whenever he touched my finger tips with his. 

I took the time to focus on how gently he touched my fingers, and I noticed a new tattoo on his left wrist; one that I hadn’t noticed before. It dawned on me that it must be fairly new, as the scars beneath were extremely faded now. Previously, or the last time we were actually dating, I should say, the scars there were still fairly new.

The tattoo was an upside down treble clef joined with a bass clef to represent a heart shape, and on either of the heart there were the jagged lines usually shown on a heart monitor. The tattoo was beautiful, and I wondered what the meaning behind it was, so I decided to ask.

“Luke?” I asked,

“Mhm?” he hummed, his eyes closed.

“When did you get this? And what does it mean?” I asked.

His eyes fluttered open, focusing in the same direction which I was. I traced the tattoo with my finger tips, and I felt him shiver beneath me.

“The Tuesday night after I got back. I got it because, well… When you’re in hospital, in a vulnerable or fragile state, your heart is usually attached to one of those cardiac monitors. Because well, your life is on the line and it can stop at any second. And so, that part represents when I was in a bad state, the self harm, the drugs — all of that. I was in a vulnerable and fragile state, and my life could’ve been out the window at any second, right?” he started, and I winced at the thought of him leaving this earth. He noticed, holding me closer; if that was even possible. “And then, the heart. Well first of all; it symbolises music, of course. Because music has and always will be a big part in my life. It was the only good thing in my life back then, and it did contribute to me changing. But instead of just getting any music note, well, I got a heart. Because what music never did for me is what you did for me, Daniella. I could, and can love music all I want, but it can’t love me back. You can, though. You can love me back, and you do. You, and your love helped me survive through the darkest faze I have ever been through, you showed me the light. You showed me how to love, not only you, but myself, as well. You helped me so much, even if you don’t realise it. This tattoo represents how I was once broken, but now I am not. I have overcome the darkness, and this will remind me of that in the future if suddenly the power goes out even for a moment. This tattoo represents us, and all we have been through. This is our tattoo.” he finished.