Suicide hotline

Chapter 4: Getting It Off My Chest

Song: Six Feet Under - Billie Eilish

Hope's POV:

(Toby up the top)

Once I had arrived home after along day at work, I slumped to my couch. The rental home I was living in wasn't too bad if I'm being honest. It was quite spacious and pets were allowed, so my cat Leo, (a yellow and orange Maine Coon) lived happily with me.

I couldn't be bothered cooking dinner, so I decided to order Uber Eats.

I sat quietly on the couch, playing some block game on my phone as I listened to some random songs on my Apple Music radio. Leo came sauntering in, his large and fluffy body shaking as he purred up at me.

His big green eyes stared at me.

He wanted his dinner.

I smiled, gently patting his soft fur as he purred in acceptance, quickly trotting off and down the hallway.

When he noticed I hadn't followed him, he came back, meowing loudly.

I was knocked out of my thoughts as I smiled at him.

"I'm coming, Leo." I mumbled, soon walking after him.

The thoughts of today began to bubble back to life in my mind. I had dealt with a few people today who called up, explaining how they were sad or how they wanted to end their lives.

Of course I did everything in my power and only allowed them off the phone if they sounded better, but something about his call really set something off in me.

Maybe it was the fact that he had physically attempted suicide just minutes before? Or the fact that if he had succeeded then I would have never spoken to me.

Or maybe it was on account for how terrified he sounded. I just wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be alright. Right?

I was knocked out of my thoughts when a knock sounded.

My Uber Eats person must be here.

After I had finished dishing out Leo's mince, I placed it onto the counter and grabbed my wallet. I made my way towards the doorway and opened it.

"He-" I paused when I realized who it was.

"Hey girl!" My best friend Toby exclaimed.

"Toby? I didn't know you were working tonight." I laughed, crossing my arms as I leant against the door way.

"Ugh! My boss forced me to come in. It was supposed to be my night off. He's just lucky that he's hot." Toby said, adding a wink at the end as I giggled.

Yea, did I mention Toby was gay?

"So what's been happening?" Toby asked, handing me my Chic-Fil-A. I handed him the money I owed him.

I was wondering whether I should tell him what had happened today.

Tell him! A part of me screamed.

"W-Well." I began, soon pausing as I twitched my lip. I avoided his heated gaze as he cocked a perfect, plucked eyebrow.

"What? Did something bad happen at work?" Toby asked, his girlish faced soon faltering as he stood up straighter.

"You could say that." I sighed, closing my eyes.

"I mean it's a tough job. I don't know how you can do it. I'll come inside and you can tell me about your day and what happened." Toby said, gently swiping my cheek as he made his way into my house.

"Uh, don't you have a job to do?" I chuckled softly.

"Meh, I'll just cancel anyone who attempts to try and make me freaking pick up their food." He said, his voice full of distaste.

(Ok I don't know how UberEats works. I live too far away from anything for them to deliver to me, I've only ever had it once and my mum got it so don't come at me if I get anything wrong lol)

"Um, won't you get fired?" I asked, closing the door and making my way in after him.

"Nah. My boss wouldn't dare to touch me, plus why would he when we might be getting down and being scandalous." He said, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Oh my god! You have to spill!" I said excitedly, the thoughts of what had happened today soon floating away.

"I will, but not until you tell me what's happened. You're usually a very strong person, so something major must've happened for you to be acting this way, or maybe you're a Gemini." He said, rubbing his growing stubble.

"Ugh, I have to shave that off." He said.

"Tobes, I'm born in March, not in June." I reprimanded him with a quick eye roll. "Plus, you have a job to do, we can talk about this lat-"

Toby stood up from where he was seated on my couch, quickly looming over me.

"Sweetheart, I'm not leaving my best friend of so many years knowing something major is bothering you. I would rather know you're mentally and physically ok then go back to work unsure." He said, gently touching my cheek as I looked up at him.

Suddenly, I began crying.

Within a moment, I was pulled into his chest. His hands found their way into my black hair as he cooed gently.

"Hey, hey, hey. That's enough." He whispered, pulling away from me.

I could feel the hot tears running down my face as he tenderly reached up and swiped them away.

"As I can tell this makeup is very expensive, wouldn't want tears to ruin it." He spoke.

I giggled, sniffling as I coughed.

"Tell me." He said sternly, reaching up and cupping my cheek.

"I shouldn't be so affected." I began in a low murmur.

"It's my job to listen to people tell me how awful their days and or lives are. I'm used to this stuff, but dammit, this guy truly flipped the entire spectrum. My thoughts and emotions are running wild and I can't seem to get ahold of them." I began, soon feeling Toby walking me over and towards my couch.

He sat me down, wrapping an arm around my shoulder as he pulled me in. I rested my cheek against his dark shirt.

"Go on." He said.

"Well, he called me up and h-he told me that he had attempted suicide. He hung himself but the hook had apparently snapped or pulled the ceiling part out and he fell. He was crying and he sounded like he was in so much pain. So much pain. I know I deal with this stuff, but maybe the fact that he literally attempted suicide and failed only minutes before had impacted me so hard." I finished, beginning to cry again.

Toby sucked in a harsh breath.

"Jesus Christ, that poor guy. I hope you didn't let him off the phone for a while." He asked, hesitantly.

"I kept him on for a while, he sounded terrified and as if he didn't want to get off the call. I told him how important he was and why I wanted him to stay. I also told him to call back if anything else flares up." I finished.

Toby was quiet for a moment.

"I really hope he calls back." His voice thick with emotion.

My heart began to beat rapidly as awful thoughts popped into my brain. My lips quivered as my eyes began to water briefly again.

"So do I."

~~~~

You are beautiful/handsome mentally and physically

I love you all

~ Chels