Suicide hotline

Chapter 42: T Is For Trauma

Song: I Am Not A Robot - Marina and The Diamonds

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Chance's POV:

"Please just stay in my bed tonight." I whined, gripping her tiny hand in my own large one as she looked up at me. Her sharp eyebrow's raised as her icy eyes stared into my own grey ones.

"Chance I-."

"I mean we're dating!" I said, whipping out the 'dating card' and using it against her.

She squinted her eyes at me for a mere second, a wave of realization flooding her as she sighed.

"Fine." She mumbled.

"Yes!" I cheered, standing up and holding her in my arms. I'm sure if we were out in public and I had began to do this, it would have appeared as though I was squeezing the life out of a small doll.

"Come on, let's get you out of that dress, shower and yeet up the stairs." I spoke, a toothy grin on my face.

"Oh God." She groaned, rolling her eyes and shaking her head at my use of the word 'yeet'. I only ever said it to make her mad and I loved doing that.

"You're annoying." She moaned.

"But you love it." I winked back.

•

It was 3:27am.

Surprisingly the demons hadn't come and taken me away since around this time is when the devil comes.

Unfortunately my own demons were toying with me.

Pathetic.

Stupid.

Weak.

I shut my eyes, clenching my jaw as I shoved the black pillow over my face. I smothered myself to the point where I began to cough from breathing in the pillow fibers.

The voices didn't stop though, they kept getting louder and the thoughts of what had occurred tonight hadn't left.

She was right in front of you and you couldn't even form a proper sentence. How pathetic are you?

You think you're different all because of Hope? You'll never be different, you'll always be sad and disgusting.

You thought you could get rid of us? We're never leaving you.

Not until you leave.

I sat up in bed, sweating harshly as my lips trembled. I looked over to the other side of the bed where Hope slept peacefully.

Her black hair forming a halo like form on the top of the pillow as her full lips were parted. Soft breaths and slight jerks occurred from her.

I sighed, hanging my head.

You don't deserve her.

And that was the worst part about it all.

I really didn't deserve her.

I was an asshole, took my anger out on her tonight and made her cry. What kind of person does that to the girl he likes? Especially on the same night she asked me out to be her boyfriend?

I'm literally a pig.

Tears built up in my eyes as I immediately got out of bed and went straight towards my connected bathroom.

I shut the door and turned on the shower to the hottest it would go.

These voices and thoughts were driving me up the fucking wall and I couldn't seem to escape them. I hadn't heard them for months and I hadn't even thought of terrible things.