hailey chantel hilton.
+
-at home.
ugh. the fact that i just talked to one of joey's hoes is just...
fuck- what if they both are still a thing? i mean by thing, what if they both are stilll fuck mates?
a glimpse of memories of them together that night slipped onto my mind.
ugh what was her name again? drew?
i eyerolled at the thought of her. and him.
i overthinked and went inside my bathroom. i filled up the bathtub with cold water.
my eyes were beginning to tear up. fuck- why am i crying?
i turned the faucet then tossed my clothes off. i then slid myself in the bathtub as a train of thoughts filled my head.
'what if i was just one of his toys?'
'what if he just wants to steal my virginity?'
'what if hes just playing with my feelings?'
those thoughts were the ones that ive been thinking mostly nowadays.
+
i stepped out of the bathtub and wrapped the towel around my body.
then i saw something shiny on the cupboard in my bathroom.
it was really attracting and i walked to get it.
it was a piece of blade.
i was fighting the urge to actually cut but i just couldnt resist it.
maybe just one cut?
i slid the blade on my wrist and made one cut. it hurt but it helped me numb my mental pain.
i washed the blood that didnt stop.
i then found myself crying and wiping my tears.
afterwards i walk up to my closet and threw on a pastel pink sweater and some black sweatpants.
sigh. i took out my phone and played it on my bed.
+
i heard a knock on my door which made me glance.
"who is it?" i ask in a very loud tone.
my mom peeked in the room and said, "a friend of yours is here"
"just tell loren to come another day-"
"oh its not loren" she spoke. i sat up and my mom stepped aside, revealing joey.
i eyerolled, "what the hell are you doing here?"
my mom saw the tension between us and left. joey smiled at her then stepped a foot inside my room.
i had a pillow in my hand, "get the fuck out, joey"
