Please Be My New Memories | Kellic

Chapter 7 ~ The Words

I stared at him for a moment as he walked up to me smiling whilst looking at the book in my hands. He slowly approached me, I never shifted my gaze for a moment until I realised he lightly had his hand on mine, still looking at the book. I could tell that he was unsure and conscious of his actions but it was just being friendly but to be honest I had never really spoken to him before which made me confused but he kept his smile upon his face, the smile that started it all. Kellin and I weren't exactly friends but we were in the same form so I guess we were more like accquaintances.

"I could tell this means a lot to you by how reluctant you were to give to Sir so I thought I'd be nice and get it back for you," He said in such a casual voice that it felt like it was something he did for me on a daily basis. He still had his slight grip around my hand.

"Yeah, thanks for that," I said quietly. It made me realise why he probably never spoke to me before. My social skills were awful and my voice was barely audible, I was nothing special and no one that you would want to waste your time on. I was still conscious of his hand.

"You're welcome", he said, "so I didn't want to be rude but I honestly would really like to know what kind of songs you've got in there. Could I please take a look?" So that's why he had got his hand around me. It wasn't around me, it was around my book. Wait.

"How do you know that they're lyrics?" I asked, maybe a little too keen to know what kind of answer he'd come up with. Though, I noticed that he hesitated a moment before replying.

"I just had a feeling, you know?" was his answer. He just had a feeling.. That really explained a lot. I handed over my lyrics eventually because I was still just as cautious as ever about who read it or not. After all, it's just me in words. Once he held the book he took a step back to give me some room to breathe and besides, he'd got what he had came for. I studied his face as I watched his eyes dart across the page, taking in every single word written with my utmost emotions. One thing surprised me and that was that the look in his eyes seemed familiar to me as he read my songs. As if he knew what it all meant and no one knew what those words meant. Although, that's the beauty in music. You could write a beautiful verse in your own way to express your problems through a melody and anyone could translate it back in the same melody but with their own passion and their own personal meaning, making it special to each and every individual. After a while I was snapped out of my daze when I heard him speak again.

"Just like how they used to be," I heard him mutter to himself quietly before he handed me back my book and walked away from me. What? What did he mean by that? How can he know how they used to be when even I don't? They're the words that left me thinking.

***

Eventually afternoon form came round again and everything was back to normal. I sat at the back with Jaime, Kellin sat at the front almost completely ignoring my existence. I decided to stop creating new lyrics during form and to not take the risk of my book being confiscated again but maybe Kellin would like to collect it for me again? I looked over my shoulder at the wall behind me and tried to set my focus on the posters that decorated it. Our classroom is a History one, considering the fact that our form tutor is a History teacher. In bold it said 'WORLD WAR II' so it was easy enough to guess what the project was based on. Whenever I thought about the war I'd try to place myself in the shoes of a victim just to see if I could imagine the pain and heartbreak they'd suffer but it'd be no use so I would just shut off my mind again. I scanned the wall to see anything else interesting but seeing as History was never my sort of thing I gave up and turned my attention back to Sir.

"Everyone understand?" Sir said as he finished his sentence.

"Yes" Everyone responded apart from me because I never have the slightest clue as to what's going on in people's lives including my own. I guessed that he was going on about the leavers assembly again and excused myself out of the classroom along with everyone else not giving it a second thought. As I walked out I sneakily snuck in my headphones and attempted to walk around school without being noticed with one in my right ear and the other headphone dangling down in front of me. I knew how obvious it was but I had been doing it for years and never once got caught so I'm not afraid anymore so I continued to walk and bumped into Tay. She smiled at me as she walked past, obviously knowing that I was listening to the same music as she likes. I made my way to my last lesson and sat down in my seat trying to stay as invisible as possible which for me is never hard until I break into a fit of laughter and which used to be my natural loud, hyper, annoying self before the problems entered my life. All I knew is that it was one more lesson and then I'd have got through another week.

***

Music played in my bedroom, in between very quietly and too loudly. I stared at my reflection and wondered whether I need my silver friend today or not? I must be worth something if someone could go through the trouble of getting back one of my valuables. So I left the sharp edge in the bathroom, turned around and lead myself away from the voice begging me to stay and bleed.

I smiled because for me, this was as great as my day could get. Being acknowledged by someone and listening to my most amazing bands. I lay myself on my bed and slightly turned down the volume of my music. I blankly stared at my ceiling thinking and thinking and thinking. I thought about the words, the words he had said. Did he know me for some reason? I couldn't remember him but then again, I couldn't remember anything. The words kept playing over in my head but eventually my eyes closed and my mind drifted to a distant place.