Please Be My New Memories | Kellic

Chapter 14 ~ The Tattoo

The following day Kellin kept his distance from me and I wasn't quite sure how I felt about that. He was avoiding not just me but the truth which I was way too desperate to know. The night before I had rang him repeatedly, leaving him with probably twelve missed calls. He was ignoring me completely because even in Art where we sit next to each other because he switched seats with Jenna. I couldn't understand why the truth had to be hidden so much because apart from feeling utterly confused I was worried about Kellin and his Father's well beings. Kellin said that it had never happened before which obviously meant that it only happened because I was there and the fact that his Dad had screamed my name just as we left kind of gave it away but it scared me too.

"Vic, just tell me what happened," Jenna said. She had noticed my naturally depressing aura had gotten worse and was practically interigating me to find out what was up. I trusted her with my life but I had a huge feeling that what was going on should stay between Kellin and I.

"Jenna, I can't tell you what happened if I don't know because nothing happened." I retaliated. We were alone leaning against a wall behind our school after the bell had gone as I had to practice for the assembly but ditched. Jenna was with me to make sure I did it. Guess she failed this time. She sighed giving in to me which actually rarely happened. She bent down to pick up her school bag then started walking away from me with my school bag too.

"Jenna, where are you going with my stuff?" I was kind of worried about her having my bag because it contained my phone, lyrics book and even the story of my dreams.

"Well, you're going to follow me anyway so.." She said smiling over her shoulder at me. I ran to catch up with her then we began walking side by side.

"Fine, where are we going?" I fake smiled because right now I honestly felt like going home and listening to bands whilst drawing some meaningful, pointless piece of art and at the same time eating cookie dough ice cream.

"Ice cream," she said and my forced smile instantly became a genuine one. She really was my best friend, wasn't she? Jenna honestly never ceased to make me sincerely happy, "I'm also going to take you to the tattoo place down town. It's about time you got a second one and on the way you can actually explain to me your first one."

This time it was my turn to sigh. My tattoo was one of the many things that Jenna was all too interested in and kept questioning me about so I guessed it was about time to make the meaning clear to her. I pulled off my black hoodie which I had began to wear a lot recently then rolled up my sleeve revealing the beautiful font of letters on my bare arm.

'They are not real but I can't excuse the fakes. I can't remember anymore so the future becomes my past.'

"So you know my memory loss?" I said and she nodded whilst lightly placing her fingers over the tattoo, "The first part are memories that I've tried to imagine happening. Like, I try to put my younger self in the position of little kids from movies and stuff and try to make them my own memories but it doesn't really help when I don't even know what I looked like."

I paused, biting back tears that were threatening to spill. I found it really sad the fact that I had no past and neither of my parents cared enough to let me relive it. Sometimes there was nothing I wanted more than to be normal. I didn't even know what caused me to loose all of my memories.

"So all those memories that I've tried to come up with aren't real but I still want to believe that I have something to hold onto even if they're fake." I had managed to create a lump in my throat as my words began to become even more shaky by the second and I remembered the emotions flowing through me as I got the tattoo permanately marked onto my skin.

"The second part is pretty similar. Since I have no past I have to wait for the future to fade into the past and for that to become a memory but right now, the memories I currently have aren't exactly the greatest." I saw Jenna's expression sink a little at how upset I had been but it wasn't really anything new.

"Beautiful." was all she said and for the rest of the walk to the tattoo place we were engulfed in a comfortable silence.

***

"So, you want that hawk?" I had shown Alex the drawing of the Hawk which I had carefully tucked insideof my notepad. We were inside the tattoo place now and I was seated and completely ready for the pain.

Alex was the same age as Jenna and I, he was also the person who did my first tattoo. Alex had dropped out of school a couple years ago he had told me and for some reason I straight away believed him but he was one of the nicest people you would ever hope to meet. Any girl, or guy, would fall for him in an instant. The pink in his hair was definitely a way to get attention.

"Yes, please," I said. Jack stepped out of the door at the back of the room with refreshments for us all. Alex and Jack were a thing and they went perfectly together.

"Jack, turn the music on," demanded Alex.

"A Day To Remember or My Chemical Romance?" Jack asked whilst rumaging through various CDs.

I looked at Alex and Jack, "I want to hear some of your stuff."

They gave me a surprised look. Jack had told me that he and Alex had began a band called 'All Time Low' and that they'd recorded a couple songs.

"Vic, that wasn't an option," Jenna said, getting up and standing next to Jack, looking for some CDs herself.

"Too bad, play All Time Low! Costumer's orders!" I said and soon enough a song which I learnt was called 'Guts' was blasting out the speakers and I closed my eyes as Alex began his artwork on my body.