You're My Baby Boy (Boy x Boy)

Chapter 11

The next day at Mason's house...

Noah's POV

"I've got the gist of how the tune of the song will go, and I've got some lyrics written down too."

Mason and Ace both nodded. "Does the song have a title?"

"Uh... I'm still working on that bit," I replied, rubbing the back of my neck nervously.

The sunshine boy smiled at me. "I'm sure it'll be amazing."

I felt a bit of reassurance hearing those words. But as we continued to work, I felt my mood drop gradually. The whole time, I kept my eyes on Mason and Ace. They were only smiling at each other and Mason always laughed at the smallest things Ace did. I tried to keep my mind on the song, but I couldn't, no matter how hard I tried. This is why I absolutely hated the fact that I could never get my feelings across to people. Mason may know how I feel I most of the time—mainly because I've spent most of my time with him since we were kids—but when it comes to how I truly feel about him, he's as blind as a bat. I'm hopelessly in love with him, and I don't know what to do.

Leo keeps telling me how obvious I'm being around him. I've had to tell him myself about how I feel—he's the only one who won't tease me till the world ends—because not even he knows about how I feel. But if I'm being so obvious, then people would have known that I'm in love with him by now. Ever since we were younger, Mason had always been there with me no matter what we did, even when I had a breakdown at school once because people found out my secret.

At some point, Ace caught me looking at him, and he gave me a smile. It may have been my imagination, but I thought I saw something behind that smile... It looked sympathetic and sad...

Ace's POV

Noah probably didn't notice, but I was actually watching how he stared at us—mainly Mason—the whole time we worked together. I could see the sadness in his eyes. I know he has feelings for Mason. But, unfortunately, it doesn't seem like Mason feels the same. Man, do I know how that feels... It hurts me to know that he doesn't love me, but it hurts me even more to know that he's hurting at the fact that Mason doesn't look at him the way Noah does—he sees Noah as a brother. I hate seeing him like that, even if it doesn't look like he's upset.

He may not know it, but I can read him quite easily. After years of being depressed like this, I gained the skill of being able to interpret people's hidden emotions. I won't tell him, but I know what he feels most of the time, despite knowing him for some short while only.

About an hour or two later, we got quite a few things done on the assignment. Mason noticed something off about Noah and walked up to him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Noah? Are you okay? You look... upset."

Noah tensed up slightly before shaking his head and looking at Mason fondly. "I'm fine, Mae. I'll see you later, okay?"

Mason smiled and gave him a friendly hug and did the same to me, catching me off guard. I hesitantly hugged him back and pulled away shyly. Mason smiled as Noah and I left the house. I stared at Noah, who was looking down the entire time as we walked down the street. As I got closer to my house, I turned to him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Noah," I said as I gave him a sympathetic smile. He looked at me with confusion when I said my next words: "I'm really sorry..."

I left to my house without saying another word. I entered to an empty house once again. I ran to my room, dropped my bag on the floor and belly-flopped onto my bed. I couldn't get over how upset Noah looked whenever he looked at me and Mason. His expression may have been hard to read, but I could read it and it broke my heart. I began to internally fight the voice in my head, the voice at the back that reminds me everyday that I'm depressed.

No, I can't... Kiran would be so disappointed if I do it again.

But you're hurting...

I need to stop...

You know what the only way to forget your pain is...

I can't do it again...

Numb the pain... Just do it.

Unfortunately, the voice wins me over...

Noah's POV

I walked into my house, slammed the door and shouted for my cousin. "Hanna! I'm back!"

My parents found out that I wasn't straight when I was 14 years old, and they are huge homophobes. Once they found out, they lashed out at me, kicked my out of their home and pretty mush disowned me. I was left on the street and the first person I ran to and told was Mason. He calmed me down and made sure I had stopped crying before helping me contact my older cousin, Hanna Woods. Arrangements were made and now I live with her. I work part-time at a coffee shop nearby to earn my own money to support the both of us—even though she does work, I still feel the need to play my part.

"Noah, where were you?!"

"Jesus, you don't have to shout. I told you I was out working on the music assignment with Jeongguk and the sunshine boy."

"When did you tell me that?"

"I dunno. I think you were watching an NCT video of Lee Taeyong screaming in a haunted house or something..." (if you like kpop, please go watch that video, it's hilarious)

"That's why I don't remember! You know better than to talk to me when I'm watching NCT! You know I won't pay attention to anything!"

"Geez, sorry..." I rolled my eyes and smirked.

I walked up to my room and got the sheet of paper out again to write more lyrics, but I stopped. Why? Because I felt lazy. I fell back onto my back and thought back to what happened earlier. Ace's words lingered in my mind: "I'm really sorry..."

It left me in utter confusion. What is he sorry for? Does he know...?? And if he does, then how did he figure it out?? Aren't I hard to read? I really hope he doesn't like me more than a friend. I'm not entirely sure, but I think he likes me... I may not give a fuck most of the time, but if he likes me and knows I like Mason, he'll be heartbroken. Heh, I know the feeling all too well... It's funny how I can relate to the same boy who I'm "competing" against for Mason's attention.

I probably won't go to school tomorrow—something I usually do when I'm not in the mood to just skip class. Plus, I'm really not in the mood to see either boys tomorrow at school being all lovey-dovey with each other. It'll just make my mood worse than what it is now.

I suddenly hear something loud coming from Hanna's room. It was deafening, and it sounded like a goddamn goat on steroids. I covered my ears to protect my sense of hearing. Hanna and her goddamn videos.... 

"Hanna! You've watched that video a billion times! We get it! Lee Taeyong's duality is unbelievable, now just watch something else that does not bust anyone's eardrums!!"

"Shut up, I'm the boss of this house and I get to do what I want! Now leave me and my NCT in peace!!"  

Goddamn it. She better be lucky that I'm not deaf by now after hearing that guy scream like that. I rolled my eyes and decided to block her out by continuing to write the song.