In Your Dreams

For what it's worth

Trigger warning: eating disorders, self harm and depression.
This story is based on what happened to me and how Stevie helped me (not in person, but her music and story, too).
Things will change quickly.

   

I feel someone's hand carresing my face, so I start to open my eyes... and there she is.
   "Honey, we are here. I was going to ask Roy to take you to the room, but I thought it would look weird." She says and I laugh.
   "Thank you so much Steph. I don't even know what to say right now." I feel my cheeks getting red.

" Let's just keep moving now... We can talk more later." She grabs her coffee cup and opens the door, waiting for me.

    We make our way to the hotel's elevator. She keeps holding my hand, and when the elevator starts to move I hold her hand tighter (I HATE elevators), I can hear her giggles.
We get to the top floor, where she is in the presidential suite.
"Your room is the one next door.  Here's the card." She hands me the card to open my room, and I do not know what to do, so I just hug her.
"Thank you so much Stevie. If you need anything, you can call me. I usually don't go to bed until 2am." I don't know why I said that, but I just felt like it.

After taking a bath, I remember that I forgot my backpack, so I just wrap myself with the towel and lay in the comfortable bed but I can't sleep. I keep getting anxious and thinking about how I screwed everything up. Why do I need to be like this? Why can't I just be a regular person? Why did have to happen to me?
I run to my purse and grab my little notebook. I always carry it around, so I can write when I find the perfect inspiration... and right now it was the storm outside.
Lightings are brightening the sky and I open the window, turn the main lights off and started to write.
... It was not me that did it
      Ask the stars, I know for sure we are under the same ones;
      And does not matter if a storm is coming, and the thunder is roaring.
     They're still there..
Trim trim... trim trim...  the phone started ringing and I looked at the clock and it says 2:48am. Who the hell calls someone at 2:48am??
"Hello?" I'm not happy, because the person took away a my creativity boom.
"Hey honey. It's Stevie... I was wondering if I could go to your room. I cannot go to sleep right now and... Aaaah" I hear her scream when a thunder roars again. I can't hold it and burst into laughter.
"THE Stevie Nicks is scared of storms? I can't believe it. But, of course you can come to my room. The door is unlocked." I say and I hear the dead silence, meaning that she has hung up. I look down and realize that I don't have any clothes on... before I can do anything, she opens the door and I just cover myself with the sheets.
"Is everything okay hun?" She looks after closing the door, and I get anxious thinking about what happened earlier. But before I can say anything, a lighting glows through the room making her run and jump on the bed... she's not wearing any makeup, hair hair is in its natural way and she's so stunning that I don't have words to describe, so I just stare at her with my mouth open.

"You better close your mouth before you get tired." She laughs and I feel my cheeks blushing.
"I'm so sorry... it's... it's just.... just because you're stunning!" I say while staring at the empty wall in front of us. I start to feel sick to my stomach again... my inner me keeps saying that I have to go throw up, so I will feel better "I have to use the bathroom. I'll be back!" I run to the bathroom, forgetting that I just have a towel around my body. After closing the door, I try to empty the contents of my stomach, but after trying for a while, I decide to feel relief in another way, so I look for razor blades, and run it through my wrists. When the blood starts to run, the physical pain makes the demons inside quiet for a while. I keep staring at my wrists for I don't know how long, until I feel Stevie wrapping her arms around me... I no longer can hold it, and start to cry compulsively, letting her grab a wash cloth and put it around my wrists.
"Let's go to bed sweetie. I'll take care of you." She takes me back to bed, and I can see her eyes going through my body, and changing when see looks at all the scars around my thighs and stomach. After a few seconds of panic, she covers me with the cashmere blanket and lays down with me. "I will give you a few minutes while I call Karen to ask for some clothes, food and medicines. Then, we will talk about it!" She kisses my forehead and goes to the telephone dialing Karen's number. She doesn't give much information, just tells Karen that I forgot my clothes home, and that a little accident happened, so she'll need a first aid kit and some ibuprofen.
Less than 5 minutes later Karen shows up at the door, knocking and opening it... I'm pretty sure that she can feel the tension in the air, because since Stevie took me to the bed we are not talking. I will probably say something silly, and I'm too scared that she will tell Karen she'll never want to see me again.
"You look awful Tifani. What happened honey?" Karen smiles and asks me. "She is just not feeling good. I bet is something that she ate." Stevie says, and looks at me while opening the first aid kit. "Thank you so much Karen!" She says and throws herself against the other woman, hugging her and giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Now, you go to bed! You have things to do tomorrow! Love you."
"Okay momma Stevie! Love you, too." Karen says and runs away, knowing that Stevie hated that joke.
I am watching it, and I start to tear up. Never in my whole existence I thought I would be in a hotel room with Stevie Nicks, seeing her in a way a very few people did. If someone told me that a while ago, I would have laughed at their faces.
"Let me see this.." she takes a look at my wrists and starts cleaning my cuts with antiseptic medication. "Now, you can start telling me what happened or I will start giving you my lecture." She smiles at me while wrapping my wrists with bandages.
"I cannot hide it anymore... for what it's worth, you are one of the reasons why I still alive..." I started, knowing that I would not be able to stop until I told her the whole story.

Hey guys, I really hope you're still enjoying it.
The story will soon start to be more light. I just wanted to really make you understand some of the characters choices and actions.
Love you all!!