In Your Dreams

You can't fix this

     Tifani's POV

Stevie and I have been dating for a good 3 months now, and it's super hard to have a healthy relationship and avoid  the media at the same time. We are always having secret dinners, and I feel like I'm always flying under the radar. Even though she's touring and we haven't seen each other since New Year's Eve the whole thing between her and Lindsey follows me around, besides reading about it on news outlets, I also have to deal with people tagging and harassing me over it.
I am watching TV and they're start talking about Lindsey's solo tour, and when I'm going to turn it off, I hear.
" And it looks like he and Stevie Nicks found their way back to each other... the pair was photographed together last night in a lovely exchange in London where both Fleetwood Mac and Lindsey are performing.
Nicks who was being spotted with a rumored girlfriend 29 years her junior, seemed to not care and pointed to the cameras when leaving the restaurant... we tried contacting Mr Buckingham, Ms Nicks and the rumored girlfriend, but no one has reached us back until this moment."
The guy kept talking but I am out... tears are streaming down my face and I am just staring at the emptiness inside me. It feels like an out of body experience for a while, and I don't really realize I'm crying until I feel a pair of arms pull me into a huge hug, it is my sister. She turns the TV off and doesn't say anything for a long time, I let myself cry until I don't have any more tears left. It is a raw moment, I'm not sobbing loudly or anything like that. I don't have any sounds, and tears just fall until my eyes feel heavy.
"Thanks Em, but I'll go to my room now." I give her a kiss on the forehead and go to my room, laying on the floor until I fall asleep.
  I wake up to the loud sound of my phone ringing, and I pick up without even looking.
"Hello?" I clear my throat to pretend I was not sleeping.
"Hey... did I wake you up?" Stevie asks carefully, and I want to scream but nothing comes out of my mouth. "White dove? Are you still there?" She says a little louder.
"To hell with this White Dove bullshit, Steph!" I say  almost letting out a scream. "How was your date with Lindsey? Did you have fun remembering the good old times?" I am trying my best to keep calm, but my heart is shattered. She never wanted to turn our relationship public, but even waved at the cameras when she was out with her ex boyfriend... Stevie's dead silence makes me even more furious and I continue. "You didn't need to wait 3 months to break my heart like that Steph, you could have just called me and ended up with everything. Because now, I'm the one who goes to social media and receives all the hate, all the creepy messages and I still have to deal with the press. I DO NOT HAVE A FREAKING KAREN TO TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING." I am crying and my voice is loud now.
"Tiff, listen to me, please. Let me fix some things..." Stevie says and her voice cracks. She knows that this whole situation is making both of us miserable.
"You can't fix this, Steph... you knew since the day we went on our first date how broken I already was!
Tell Lindsey I said hi." I hang up on her, and the whole thing makes me so angry that I throw the phone against the wall, breaking it. My anxiety levels are so high that I can feel my stomach hurting and I feel like I'm about to throw up, and even though I don't want to, my anxiety is stronger.
Sitting on the bathroom floor brings me memories of how Stevie took care of me at our first date, and how things were good when she was with me. I start to cry again, and I don't know what to do.
A knock on the door calls my attention. "Hey sweetie..." my mom slowly comes into the bathroom, holding her phone. I'm sure she's talking to Stevie. "I'm so sorry that you have to go through this, but I think you should talk to Karen." She hands me the phone, staring at it for a while before picking it up, my mom leaves the bathroom and closes the door.
"Hello Karen." I say coldly.
" Honey, first of all stop being a cold bitch with me; and second of all, Stevie's destroyed... I don't know what you said to her, but she has been locked in her improv studio since you hang up on her. And I know that you're mad and everything, but you should have listened to her first..." I start to say something but she cuts me off. "No, no young lady. I talk and you listen: Lindsey called the whole band to meet with him yesterday. He said it was a 'reconciliation dinner' and they were ALL there, but he took Stevie outside when she said she was going back to the hotel, and he called the paparazzi. He did it for his public image, after what he said about her, his image was damaged and he wanted something for the fans to talk about!
When I saw it this morning, I started to freak out because I knew you would not like it, and I also knew that Stevie would freak out. And she did... she called Lindsey and started to yell at him, then she said that she doesn't want to see him ever again." Karen stops and I don't know what to say... I feel better but super confused.
"Karen, I can't deal with it right now... I know I hurt her feelings, and that I said things I shouldn't have said. I don't think she will want to talk to me." I start to cry realizing how stupid I was, and that it was a misunderstanding. "Karen, I have to go now... thank you for checking in on me! I'll be fine. Please, take care of Steph." I hang up and stand up, running to find my mom sitting on my bed. "I ruined everything mom, it was a misunderstanding, and now she will never want to see me again!" I sob and she makes me lay down with my head on her lap. She runs her fingers through my hair and I cry for hours... how could I be so mean to Stevie without even listening to her first?
"Sweetie, I'm sure that you two will talk and everything will be fine! But you will have to learn how to deal with your anger, and think about her situation too honey. She has a public life, a whole career, she's from a different generation and what she had with Lindsey will always be there. So, if you wanna show her that you are her shelter during the storm, you cannot act like him and break your phone every time that you disagree in something!" My mom said softly and kept playing with my hair...
" What if you arranje something for your Steph? I'm sure that she would love some roses or something like that." She stands up, gives me a kiss on my cheek and leaves. I ran to the house line and call Karen, planning everything...

Stevie's POV

After the phone call I ran to the piano in the bedroom, leaving Lilly and Karen in the other room of the suite... how could I be so dumb and allow Lindsey to ruin my relationship? I know that it's not an official thing yet, but I figured that after all these pictures on the internet, people would have figured that out. I was always so careful with my private life, and it's hard to open up about it, I am just trying to protect her but it is not working.
I'm lost in my thoughts until Karen calls me telling that dinner ir here. She knows me so well that she did not had to ask if I wanted to eat. I would be totally lost without her...
When I get there, she looks at me and opens her arms, I hold her like my life is depending on it, and for a while I think it actually is. "Thanks Karen... I don't know what I would do without you." My voice cracks and I start to sob, everything that I've been holding inside since yesterday comes out and I can't top crying. Karen takes me to my bed and lays with me until I fall asleep.
I wake up with a huge headache, looking around I see that Karen went to her room, so I decide to go to the balcony... on the top of a coffee table, I see a bouquet of white roses, and my heart starts to race, I grab it and take it with me. There's a card attached to it, and it says:
" It doesn't matter how far we are from each other, we will always be under the same stars... and I would give them all to you!
I know I've said it millions of times, but you're my muse, my inspiration and when I have to portray a strong woman, I always inspire her in you... but my actions today proved that I still have a lot to learn, and I'm so sorry that you cannot enjoy London as you were supposed to because of my actions.
I love you!
Always yours,
White Dove."

I look at the stars and smile while tears fall down my cheeks, and I'm sure that Lilly feels what's happening because she starts to scratch my leg so I can hold her. She said that she loves me, and I feel the same. I have never felt something strong like that since Joe and it scares me at the same time that it excites me... I hear steps and I know that Karen came to check on me. "I see that you found the bouquet... she was freaking out Stevie, I talked to her mom after I talked to her, and she said that she found Tifani crying on the bathroom floor, she had vomited and was feeling super bad. That girl really loves you, and talking as a friend now, I know you feel something really strong for her, so don't let it go... do not let the ghosts from the past scare you away! I don't want you to feel bad for it, and neither does she, but you two need to talk and really see what's going to happen between you... because you're just hurting each other this way." She takes the flowers to put them in a vase, and gives me a kiss on the forehead. "I just came to check on you, so I'm going back to my room. By the way it's just 11:30pm in the US and I'm sure that someone is awake waiting for your call, but you'll have to call her land line, because she broke her phone! Love you Stevie, and be smart!" She winks and takes Lilly with her.
I run inside and grab my phone, and by it I find a post-it with her number. On the third ring, I hear the excitement in her voice. "Hello? Steph?" Tifani waits but I don't say anything, I don't think I can... If it was around the 80s I would say it super fast, but now I know how much those words mean, and I don't wanna say that through the phone.
"Hey White Dove, I heard you've been throwing up, do you wanna talk about it?" I pretend that the whole drama did not happen, and focus on her health.
Tifani breathes heavily and I know that she got the message. "I did not force it this time... I was just feeling so nervous that it happened. I promised you that I would try my best to not do it, remember?" She laughs a little, and my heart warms up. "But how are you? Karen said you were sleeping, the last time I called." I smile thinking that she called more than once, she keeps going. "Steph, I'm so sorry... I promised you that I would be mature, and that I would never be one of those people that yells when doesn't agree with something. I really want this to work, I love you!" There's a dead silence, I know that she did not want to say it, and if I close my eyes I can see her cute face blushing.
"I... I..." I try to say it, but she cuts me off.
"I know Steph, I know... and you don't need to say that just because I did! I can't wait to see you after the tour is done next week. Now, I have to go to bed. Bye!" She hangs up, not waiting for an answer.
I can see the sun rising and I know it's time to go to bed. "Ah Stevie, your heart doesn't belong to you anymore..." I say to myself and close my eyes, allowing the dreams to take care of me.