SCRIBBLES {Under Revision}

chapter 3

Walking up,I found myself sleeping in Andy's room,surrounded by books and beside me was a puzzled looking Andy who was busy stroking my hair.
"Oh hey,good morning." He said with a smile which I couldn't recognise if it was real or was just meant to make me feel better.
hey..." I said while getting up and moving the book that was resting on my torso.
"So my sleeping beauty,are you ready to explain this?" He said pointing at all the books that were scattered on the bed.
I looked around the bed and recalled what I did last night.after going through some of Andy's diaries,I became very desperate to help him.it was like the only thing that I could think of.so I strolled down the streets and went to the nearest bookstore to get some books which would help me to help Andy and honestly,I bought nearly a dozen of them.I spent the rest of the day reading them.the more I read,the more my heart ached,the more my cheeks got strained with the tears that I never really cried.

"I think not" I said sheepishly trying to rub all the sleep from my eyes.I tried to hold back the yawns which made it obvious that I didn't sleep last night, but I deliberately failed.
"You found my stuff,didn't you?" He sighed and looked at the floor.
"Maybe,maybe not." I said.
"Hey,get ready,we're going out."I said,pulling him up from the bed.
"I didn't know that you boys made some plans for today."
"I meant WE're going out."I said pointing at us.
"But where and why?"
"You'll get to know soon."I said and pulled him up from the bed.

We got dressed within fifteen minutes and I drove Andy with me and headed towards the place I already knew he would love.
"Where are you taking me,Ryan,we've been driving for nearly 15 mins?" Andy said while playing with his fingers.
"I told you you'll get to know."

After driving for a few more minutes,we finally reached the place which left Andy in awe.it was the first time in a few weeks that I saw him expressing his emotions and that too, the emotions of longed happiness.it felt like he wasn't the Andy who used to bottle himself up,it felt like he was my best friend whom I've known for more that 4 years,who was as transparent as glass to me,who knew everything about me,what I liked to eat,how I liked to dress up according to my mood and how I liked my tea.

Out of a sudden I felt two small hands wrap around my neck,pulling me into a hug.
"I love you ryan." He said like it was genuine.
"I-I love yo-you too An-Andy" I didn't kneo why I shuttered but at that moment,I couldn't care less
"Ryan,this is like my dreamland." Andy said in an almost an inaudible voice.
"Well,most people may not consider an animal foster care  their dreamland but-"
"What are we doing here outside?Let's go inside." He said in his cute accent and pulled me inside by my hand.

It was like Andy had been there before because wherever he went,he was greeted with awaited breath and wagging tails.how his face lit up when the puppies looked at him with surprise.each and every member of that family greeted him by licking his face.
We nearly spent three hours there,Andy,playing with the puppies and the kittens,and I,looking at his face like it was the most beautiful thing in the world,which it was for the matter of fact.I was so fascinated by his smile that I didn't even touch my phone for the whole day but when I did,I saw that my phone was spammed with the boys' messages.
"Hey andy,I think we should go,the boys will be worried,we didn't even tell them where we are going." I said pretty loudly.
"Shh!Be quiet!" Andy whispered and he pointed towards the little pup that was sleeping on his lap,licking Andy's fingers unconsciously.
"Oh.."I said and sat by his side,hugging him from behind,getting lost in my own world again.
"What do you think about that?" Andy saiid,bringing be back to reality.
"Think about what?" I said, scratching by neck.
"I was thinking if we can adopt her." Andy said looking at me.
"Yeah!I mean,why not?I guess we have to ask the other boys too." I said in an assuring voice.
"We should name her Hemnes" I said and tried not to laugh too loudly and so did Andy.
"No,we should name her cabee." Andy said as he tried to remove his hand from the pup but he ended up waking her.
"And why is it so?" I asked while petting her.
"Because I'm the cactus and you are a bee and together,it's cabee." Andy said.
"Well,that's a good idea.now I think we should keep going." I said and then pulled Andy up by his hand.we were just heading outside when Andy held my hand asking me to stop walking.
"Hey Rye.thank you." He said and I smiled at his cuteness.I entangled his hand with mine and walked towards the car.

"I legit thought that you guys were murdered." Jack said like he really meant it which made me roll my eyes.
"No mate.he's serious.he convinced me to call the police." Brook said trying to control his laughter.
"But seriously,where were you guys?" Mikey asked.
"Just hanging out and stuff." I replied and then winked at Andy.He gave me a small smile and paced off towards his room.
"Hey, Andy,can we just talk?" I asked him.
"Sure."he said and walked towards the stairs and I followed him.
"I SHIP IT!" Jack shouted like a three year old.
"Your ship will sink soon if you are going to interrupt us everytime." I said and walked off.

"So?" Andy looked at me.
"Y-you liked the d-ay?" I shuttered unreasonably.
"No,I loved it." He gave his heart-melting cute smile that I had been longing for so long.
"And?"
"N-nothing."
"Why are you shuttering.?"
"O-oh just be-because it's getting co-cold."
I took one step forward and kissed him and surprisingly,he kissed back.the kiss didn't felt weird but it did leave me with a strange feeling..I didn't know why and to be honest,I didn't even want to know
.while I was leaving the room,I texted him "keeping loving yourself" which I saw,made him smile.

"it's strange how sometimes the fire,instead of burning you up,illuminates your life.the pain which I longed for sometimes turns into pleasure.the more I try to get hurt,the more you heal me,the more I try to break myself apart,the more you conceal me.you asked me to love myself but I found a better option,that is to love someone who would love me more that I can ever think of.I don't know whether you are a poison for my life or an antidote for my heart. And maybe,I will never come to know but I would rater close my eyes than spot myself in the darkness."

If only I knew how you felt,
I would have found a better way with which I would have dealt.