SCRIBBLES {Under Revision}

chapter 4

I went to my room and threw myself on my bed.I tried to figure out what was happening with me,but I couldn't.the more I tried to answer myself,the more curious I became.my heart paced even though my breathing was steady,my mind was full even though I felt blank from inside.I knew that I was messed up but still everything appeared to be okay.My mind was inked with questions and strained with such a feeling that left this stupid heart in SCRIBBLES.I never knew that a pain so soothing,a stab so comforting and a blankness so expressive can leave me intoxicated.out of a sudden my phone screen lit up as I received the text  which I've been waiting for.........
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"you,you are the star that never shone,
Keeping your brightness to your own.
You,you are the sunset by the sea
That paints the sky with the colours of me.

You,you are the sunlight behind the cloud,
Shy to talk 'bout your love aloud
And you,you are the ultimate destiny
Which is indeed,you and me.

And these are not just phases I say,
These are the feelings i can't deny
These are the morning stars of today
And I just wanna say that I.....
LOVE YOU...."

I heard Andy singing the lyrics that I never heard but still,They sounded too familiar to ignore.I was still standing at the door,my head leaning against the wall,still enchanted by the melody of his voice.I felt like I was lost somewhere,somewhere I belonged to.there was something about his voice that was capable of making me relax even though I knew that it increased my adrenaline.I was so lost that I failed to notice that Andy had already stopped singing and was now standing in front of me.
"Earth to Ryan!" He whispered in my ear which made by breath hitch.
"O-oh y-yeah I'm-I'm" I was cut off by him closing the door behind me.he went to sit on his bed and I followed him.
"So,what's up." I asked him in a cheerful manner.he sighed and then bit his lower lip with a blank expression.I knew what it meant but still I decided not to speak anything.he took his guitar from the bed and then put it in the case and while he was doing so,I noticed that something was written on his wrist.
I took his hand in mine and saw that he'd written 'not a loser' on his wrist.I gave him a questioning look and then he started explaining in a sweet voice.
"This kills my urge to cut." He said and sat beside me.
"Ohh" was all that I could say.I still had his hand in mine and surprisingly,he didn't seemed to mind that at all.we were sat so close that our faces were inches apart.I didn't know what came over me.sighing my nerves away,I pulled him by his waist and kissed him and not to my surprise,he kissed me back.the kiss wasn't rough and full of teenage hormones,rather it was soft and it made me realise that both of us had something to say to each other but we couldn't.we pulled apart when we heard the doorbell ringing downstairs for the 5th time.
Andy refused to look at me and ran downstairs.I smiled to myself as I followed him there.I knew what was coming and I couldn't wait to see Andy's reaction.
He opened the door and as soon as he did,he was shocked.his eyes widened dramatically and his lips curved in a smile.
"Oh my god!What are you doing here?"Andy said, still failing to believe his eyes.
"Well,I knew you were not going to invite me,so I came here by myself." Amber said in her own sassy voice.

"I missed you!" Andy straight away went for a hug and Amber hugged her back.
"Bur seriously,how did you come to know our adress?" He said almost squealing.
"Well,dumass,Mr Ryan Beaumont invited me here.he said that you were feeling a bit down and therefore needed your childhood best friend." She said.has smile dropped for a second and he quickly looked at me,giving me a questioning look which I clearly knew the meaning of.he tried to ask if I had told her everything that he was going through.I smiled and nodded my head no and I saw his smile returning to his face.
"I love you Amber." He said going for another hug.
"I love you too dumass."she replied.
"Are we going to stay here forever." She asked rolling her eyes.
"Nah...I was planning on locking you outside...But I think I'll let you come in." Andy said in a sarcastic manner.
"Thank you so much Amber." I said,happy on seeing Andy's long lost smile once again.
"No problem,dear "she said and winked at me.

Woah!What was that...

"Love,a four lettered word that expresses millions of feelings at once.it is strange how a person suddenly becomes addicted to something so enchanting that they get lost in themselves.people say that they find themselves in the person they love but what if say that I find myself getting lost in the eyes that I love?They say that they forget their pain just by looking the one they love but what if I say that my pain starts healing me when I look at the one I love?they say that love heals in the form of pain but what if I say that love gives us so much pain that one forgets the feeling of being healed and start getting used to the pain in such a manner that it no longer hurts?"

If only I knew how you felt,
I would have found a better way with which I would have dealt.