SCRIBBLES {Under Revision}

chapter 17

"What are you thinking about?" I heard a soft giggle beside me which made me open my eyes.
I looked at him and I couldn't help but stare at him.seeing him happy made my heart burst with joy.he moved a bit closer to me so that our thighs were touching and he gave me a cheeky grin.
I looked at his lips,same red lips but now they secured a smile
I looked at his eyes,same deep oceans of emotions for which I've been waiting for awhile.

"Jeez,stop staring,you creep!" He pouted and pretended to be freaked out.
"What if I say I can't" I smirked.
"Then don't" he giggled and he placed his head on my shoulder.It was as if his body had no weight and he almost felt unreal,but he told me that he wasn't.

"So,tell me,what were you thinking about?" He burried his head in the crook of my neck.I felt that I could smell his sweet cologne but I couldn't.
"You." I said and he gave me a dramatic look and he rolled his eyes.yep,this is my Andy, I thought.
"Cheesy enough..." He chuckled and then he intertwined our hands.I had noticed the differences between the sizes of our hands a million times before but now I noticed that his hands felt so soft and weightless,it was as if they weren't real.yes,he was my Andy but he was a bit different this time.his hands didn't hold the same warmth which used to remind me of the sweater weather even in the hottest summers,but that didn't make him any less desirous.
I looked down at the fragile beauty that snuggled against my body and I couldn't help but blush.he looked up at me and suddenly he came too close to me,our lips weren't touching but there wasn't any measurable distance left between them.My body became tensed and my heart started beating faster than ever.he brought his body even closer to me,if that was possible and then he started placing chaste kisses on my nose and on the corner of my lips.he knew how to make me starve for him but I told my needy body that we had time,we had our whole life to be with each other and that there was no need to speed things up cause time was all we had,other than each other ofcourse.
"And?"
"Hmm?" He hummed to the rhythm of my breathing.
I took his chin between my fingers to make him look at me.I realised that he was still smiling.I traced my thumbs on his dimples while he kept giggling.My hands slowly moved from his face to his neck and I kept tracing his collarbone.I chuckled at the thought of how good it'll feel to kiss him there,in his sweet sport.my hands slowly made their way to his chest until my fingers were led to his forearm.I almost failed to realise that he was wearing the half-sleeve shirt that I had bought him a few months ago which he refused to wear because according to him,"it showed too much skin".I almost laughed when I remembered his complain about how ugly he looked.I remembered how I wanted to tell him that he wasn't just perfect,he was perfection personified but I couldn't because I was too shy to speak.If this would've happened now,I'm sure that I would've given him an hour long speech about how beautiful he was because I knew that I had lost my shame long before,all thanks to the person who always made me feel like I was naked,like I was the most obvious and predictable thing in the world.
My fingers made their way downwards while they kept feeling each inch of his skin that was visible to me.I moved down to his wrists when I heard Andy whimper in pain.
I looked down and saw the deep cut that he had made on his skin yesterday.It looked as fresh as before but it wasn't bleeding at all.
"Is it hurting?" I asked with concern.
"Hmmm...." He pouted and blinked.
"But I know this hurts more...." He said and placed his small hand on my chest.I could almost feel him listening to my heartbeat.almost.
"Yeah,it hurts..."
"I'm sorry for doing this to you love...." I almost missed the guilt that filled his voice.I instantly felt a panic rising deep within me.
"Wait,what do you mean?" I asked desperately.
"What if I say that I love you more than I love myself?" I couldn't hear his voice properly anymore.I felt his touch fading away from me.being gripped by the fear of loosing him,I grabbed his hand violently and pressed it against my chest as tightly as possible but the feeling kept fading away,until there was nothing left.
Nothing,nowhere...Just like always.
I closed my eyes because I didn't want to see him walk away from me,to a place I don't know of but a place he longed to go to.I just wanted the uneasy feeling to go away and once I closed my eyes,I felt nothing...I felt void and empty.I felt broken and betrayed.