Author: FutabaSakura97
Title: Strength of a Samurai Heart
Genre: action
Mature: Nope
Cover and Title: 2/5
The title is quite a mouthful. I'd highly recommend shortening it to something snappy and easier to remember. That way it would attract more attention.
My main problem with he cover is that the text is difficult to read. The author's name is hardly even visible.
Blurb: 1/5
Discounting the numerous grammatical errors the blurb was far to long. It got convoluted with insignificant details that I'd much rather discover within the story itself.
I also recommend moving the list of awards to after the blurb.
First Impressions: 2/5
I know it's meant to add suspense, but referring to the main character as the girl until she is addressed. There's no point, especially because we all know the main character's name after reading the blurb. Just say the name. It's easier and will make the writing far smoother. When writing in third person, you ought to forfeit name suspense.
Characters: 2.5/5
It seemed you were trying far too hard to make your characters likable. They were way too perfect and all through the story seemed very two dimensional. And basically everyone that wasn't terrible automatically adored your main character. It's unrealistic for everyone to like someone and want to do everything for them.
I had trouble finding traits that made your main character different than her friends.
Grammar: 1/5
Nearly every sentence had some flaw. Whether it was a typo, a punctuation error, or poor word structure hardly any sentence was grammatically sound. The points you got were because while annoying and distracting, at least the errors were small enough that I could tell what you meant to say.
Plot: 2/5
I never got invested in the story. This could be do to a stark lack of descriptions. Five chapters in and all I knew was that they started their journey, there was a wolf attack and everyone thinks the main character is getting stronger.
We know next to nothing about the significance of this journey, so I wasn't invested in it.
The wolf attack was glazed over and the descriptions were nonexistent. It didn't progress plot or build character, therefore making it unnecessary.
How does everyone know she's getting stronger? How does everyone know her? These characters seem to exist simply to praise the main character. They have no purpose other than to make the main character look better. Every character, no matter how small, should be as complex as the protagonist.
Overall: 1.75/5 or 10.5/30
YOU ARE READING
Rose Reviews
AcakOPEN BUT REVIEWS WILL BE SLOW Want a story reviewed? Here's where to go! I will be brutally honest, but polite. I'm not here to tell you your story is terrible, but I'm here to tell you how to improve. I will not sugarcoat your flaws, but I will poi...
