Forty Two • h.js

23

The 1st quarter ended in a blur.

And time felt so slow for me then.
Teachers' lectures seemed endless. Lunch breaks were a bore and I walked home everyday with a heavy heart for some reason.

I've interacted a few times with your friends.
At one point, as you and Seungmin were walking in the hallway, the guy even waved at me as I mirrored his actions.

But we've never had any interactions.

It was finally the start of the second quarter.
It was a typical Saturday afternoon when I decided to go out for a walk to clear my head.

I placed fourth during the first quarter for some reason.

And it fucking sucked. How, my my seemed to be so full yet empty at the same time. It was like I was at some limbo wherein I was neither sad nor happy.

Maybe my mind was just preoccupied.
But with what?

Then, a memory suddenly flashes in my head.

"You're thinking about her again" Felix says, poking my cheek. It was lunch time and I was just absent-mindedly playing with my food. "I'm not" "You are"

"Okay fine. But I saw bandages on her arms. Those weren't there yesterday"

Felix sighs. "Jisung, it's not your business anymore"

I forgot what I replied to Felix after he said those words. All I remember was that I was irritated. I always am.

I stop in my tracks as I tried to remember what I said back then.
Although when I looked at my surroundings, I froze.

I didn't really pay attention to where I was going although now, I wish that I did.
Because for some reason my feet led me to the front of your house.

My eyes go wide and just as I'm about to turn around and leave, I hear the sound of a door slamming shut and rushed footsteps.

 And before I know, your hand is wrapped around my arm and you're staring at me with worried eyes.

"Han Jisung can we talk?"

*

On Monday, a few days after our paths crosses at our neighborhood, Felix was staring at me with a brow arched when I came to school with the biggest smile I could muster, walking as if I didn't have a care in the world. A little too-happy for the average person.

"So, care to tell me why you have a shit eating grin across your face or-"

"We patched things up" I said with a small smile. "y/n and I talked and we're good" 

Although I tried to hide it this time, the smile as I spoke still crept on my face as memories of last Saturday as we walked around the neighborhood entered my head.

My smile disappeared when I realized that you were absent though.