The Father The Son The Campe Diem

There's Nothing Wrong With Me (New Year's Special)

Sunshine, lollipops, rainbows, and...an uncomfortable feeling betwixt his legs. Guess it was time to get up. As he did so he rubbed the remaining sleep from his eyes and yawned as he took a look around his room.

The walls had been painted a nice baby blue while trimmings were all turquoise; both of which were his favorites. Although this was no time to be obsessed with colors. He was about to open his mouth to yell when his door was opened and his daddy walked in.

"Well someone's up early, good morning Max."

"Daddy!! Up!!"

David smiled and rushed over to crib and carefully lifted the little boy out of it before bringing him into a loving embrace. Max loved the scent of his daddy; it always reminded him of outside and that brown powder he used when baking sweets.

As the little one snuggled closer to the older male, the latter pat his bottom and felt that his diaper had been used. As expected.

After a quick change the duo made their way downstairs and found the other member of their family slaving away over a hot stove with her signature mug of black coffee by her side.

"Oh he was actually up? That's a shock, I thought for sure you'd have to deal with a super cranky toddler again."

David smiled as he placed Max on the floor and watched him scuttle over to one his mom's legs before latching on like a koala cub.

"Morning, Furball. Sleep well?"

"Mhm! Hungy!!"

"As always, go sit with Daddy and I'll bring it ov-"

With speed that rivaled an ACME character's, Max went from being attached to her to sitting beside his father in the span of half a second. This...this was why she contemplated doing drugs sometimes. Fuckin speed demon.

Through the course of breakfast, Max managed to get syrup and ketchup all over his face and pajama top which earned him a few laughs and head shakes from the two adults.

"I think someone needs a bath."

"No!!"

Shit. David knew his son didn't like baths so of course it was expected that the moment the "B" word was uttered the little boy would run away.

Gwen watched as Max raced out of the room at mach 7 while David rushed behind at a lesser speed. This was gonna be a hell of a morning.

Upstairs was fairly large and had many places for a small child to hide. Max knew this and intended to take full advantage of that. Once upstairs he decided to find a new place to hide since his parents always knew where to find him. Then again, he did always alternate between under the bed and behind the dresser.

There was a door at the end of the hallway that he'd always been told not to open unless he was accompanied by an adult, but to avoid the much needed bath he had no choice but to head towards it.

Once his tiny hand grabbed onto the knob and twisted it (Oh myyyyy~) he tentatively opened the door and stared at the set of steps before him. To an adult these seemed minimal but to a toddler like this they seemed like Mt. Everest on crack.

He considered his options. On one hand he was a little scared and didn't exactly want to be in trouble with his parents for disobeying them, but on the other he REALLY didn't want to take a bath. Parents had a way of washing their kids' faces that always pissed the latter off.

"Max? Where'd you go buddy?"

He gasped and immediately ran up the stairs, but not before closing the door lightly behind him. After climbing all the stairs he found himself in an extremely dark and cold environment. There were boxes with words he couldn't pronounce on them, plastic containers, an old lamp, and many other things that could definitely use a good dusting.