finn wolfhard imagines !

insecurities

type: fluff
warnings: eating disorders. if you are triggered by this kind of stuff then i suggest you don't read
summary: you deal with some insecurities
song: idontwannabeyouanymore by billie eilish

"if tear drops could be bottled, there'd be swimming pools, filled by models; told a tight dress is what makes you, a whore"
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y/n sat at the side of the pool watching her friends swim and have fun, playing games. she wanted to join them so badly, she really did. she was mad at herself. she really thought that today she would finally do it.

but that wasn't the case.

she would constantly do this. the cast would have a pool day and she would go, getting dressed into a swim suit and putting clothes overtop, thinking 'today is the day'. she would promise herself that she would take off the clothes and swim, but she never would.

her mind would constantly convince her to do this. to not take off the clothes, to starve herself, to exercise. she thought that maybe it was making some difference, but everytime she looked in the mirror, she seemed to look worse.

the stranger things cast would always ask her questions at first as to why she wouldn't go in, but she would always dismiss them by saying something like, 'she can't swim' or she 'is scared of the water'. in reality, she was scared of herself.

y/n wasn't at an extremely unstable weight yet, since this had only been going on for a month. but she was noticeably losing weight and was still very underweight. the cast hasn't seem to take notice though, except for finn.

finn watched is y/n stood up and left, walking to the back door and sliding it open before walking into the house. he felt bad and was concerned for the girl he loved dearly, and decided to follow her.

the cast didn't seem to notice as they were having piggy back competitions and sadie and caleb were noticeably winning right now. he stood out of the pool and dried himself off, to find y/n sitting on the couch in the living room.

he clenched his jaw and walked over to her, seating himself down beside her. she didn't even turn to look at him, she just stared into space, "y/n," he said, trying to get her attention. she didn't answer so he put his hand on her shoulder, "y/n" she quickly spun around at the contact.

finn drew his hand back, concerned at her state. "oh, sorry finn, i was jus-"

"-just, daydreaming" he smiled.

"just thinking... i guess," she gave him a weak smile in return.

he stared at her in the eyes, as she became more self conscious, she looked away from his eye contact. "are you ok?" he asks. y/n stands up and walks to the kitchen island, sitting down in one of the chairs.

finn follows, but turns to grab some popcorn from the pantry and pours it into a bowl. "yeah, i'm fine" she replies, as finn pops some of the popcorn into his mouth. he looks down at y/n, and pushes the bowl over to her, "do you want some?" he asks.

she stares at the bowl, before wrapping her arms around her stomach and shaking her head. she was so hungry, and her body was screaming for her to eat something, but her mind told her otherwise, "no thank you,"

finn gives her a questioning look, "why not?" he questions. finn wanted to help her, but first he needed to understand.

y/n shook her head, "i'm not hungry," she stated.

finn gazed at her, concerned. "really? because i don't think i've seen you eat at all in days," he interrogates. y/n becomes anxious from all the questioning, and her body starts to shake slightly.

she looks down, "well you probably just haven't seen me much," she answers. that was a lie. she had seen finn every single day due to the cast staying in the same beach house. finn walks back to the pantry and walks into it, going through all the foods.

"well we have other stuff to eat if you want," he says, challenging her. almost if to prove a point or something. he could see y/n was panicking, but he needed her to let him help her stop this problem.

"i said i'm. good." y/n replies, getting mad now.

"you need to eat something," finn tells her, obvious worry in his eyes.

"i already ate,"

"bullshit," finn states, raising his voice, clenching his jaw and running his hands through his hair.

y/n, shocked by his response, was on the verge of tears and you could hear it in her voice, "it's true!" y/n shouts back, her eyes glazed with tears. it's not true.

"y/n, you have a problem," finn states, walking towards her.

"why do you care?" y/n shouts.

"because i love you, y/n," he says softly, "and i hate to see you go through this. you're already beautiful and you're body is perfect and you're perfect and if you don't see that, you need help," finn tells her.

y/n just looks at him and then away quickly, before bursting out into tears. finn rapidly engulfs her fragile frame in a hug, her teardrops transferring onto his chest. he strokes her hair comfortingly and rubs her back.

y/n got help. she went to the hospital and was enrolled into physical therapy and rehabilitation. she gained the weight back and is now healthy, and finn was with her every step of the way. he eventually asked her to be his girlfriend, they are now two years strong.

-

the ending was kinda bad but it's whatever.
if you are going through this, please get medical help. i've has an eating disorder in the past and trust me, it really helps. you should not be going through this alone.
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