Seductive Vibrations Book Five To Six

Book Five Chapter Forty-One

I don't think I can say goodbye, but I have to, I am going tonight and not coming back. Getting up I walk into the room, she is a mess, her face soaked with tears, sitting on the chair opposite her I can't do it, this hurts too much and seeing her crying is killing me. 

Moving I kneel in front of her, my hand forcing her to look at me and I smile.

"Don't cry, I will be fine, I have been through worse, I got shot remember"

"I'm sorry" She keeps crying and it hurts me so much.

"Alena, you don't need to apologise, you don't love me, that is fine, it won't change how I feel, but moving out will help me get on with my life and move on" Her eyes meet mine, and I force back my own tears.

"I do though, I do love you, just not enough to walk away from Jackson" Her words bringing a tear to my eyes, I knew she loved me but then again I knew she wouldn't leave Jackson, no matter what she will not leave him not for me.

"I should have stopped, the time in the playroom, Jackson watching, your eyes looking into mine, I saw it then, I should have walked away, your eyes told me you love me" I will keep those memories for years, until I no longer feel like I love her, if that day ever comes.

"You could tell I loved you, I should have walked away, I am sorry, me and Jackson are to blame, not you, so I am signing the deployment papers this week, and when I get back I won't be here no more" Her head shoots up looking at me.

"Don't go, there has to be another way?" I wish there was.

"Alena, it takes all my strength every day not to try kiss you and have you, there is no way I can continue to do it, no way at all" I can't believe how much we messed up, both me and Jackson, he noticed we was falling in love, and did nothing and so did I.

"Don't go please" Her begging destroying me, getting up I walk to the door ready to leave I can't do this.

"Why, why did you stay quiet till now? Why would you come into the playroom and play with me knowing you loved me?" Her hand pushes against my back, turning I face her and for the first time I am telling her everything.

"Because I am fucked, I knew I couldn't have you, I knew you wouldn't walk away from Jackson, and I wanted to know how it felt to have you, in my mind, you were mine, there was no Jackson, you was all mine" My body moving, pushing her against the wall, her eyes looking into mine, oh fuck this, moving I kiss her, expecting her to stop me, she doesn't. She kisses back, her arms wrapping around my neck, pulling me to her. What am I doing? Her moans against my lips sending shivers down my spine, her hand beginning to unbutton my shirt. She needs to stop I don't have the strength and Jackson, what about Jackson? Yet I can't stop myself. Her hands getting tired, ripping my shirt open the buttons falling to the floor, my hands rubbing down her body feeling totally free to touch and play. My hand lifting her skirt, tearing her thong off her. Slowly my hands wrap around her, lifting her up, her legs wrap around me, her moans against my bare chest as the tear slides down my cheek. I am fucking everything up, yet I can't stop myself, I can't give her up. My cock pushes against her sex, her tears falling faster her hands pulling me to her, my lips kissing her neck, every part of her. My hips thrusting moaning I feel everything, the love, the pain everything, moving my hips faster hearing her scream as I do. Her crying continues, and it is hurting me, I should stop, I shouldn't do this it is hurting her.

"Do you want me to stop kitten?" She looks at me, my hips slowing getting ready to walk away.

"I will, I will stop right now, I feel just as awful as you, and I can see this is hurting you" She doesn't answer, her hands just pull me back to her, my lips touching hers as she moans against them, my hips moving, building up speed watching as she gets to the point of an orgasm I slow down, my eyes looking into hers, seeing the love mixed with pleasure in her eyes, this will be the only time I will see or experience this, because I know after she will still choose Jackson. My hands gripping her, bending her over the table, my cock pushes into her again, hearing her moans as I start fast, wasting no time I keep moving fast and hard, my hand grasping her hair, her screams getting louder as her whimpers continue. Finishing, we collapse on the floor, I knew I would fuck it all up, and now she looks scared, I know what she is thinking, she thinks I am waiting for her to leave with me, I was a fool into thinking she would.