Seductive Vibrations Book Five To Six

Book Six Chapter Twenty-Two

"Troy called, a few times, worried about you" I can't help but roll my eyes.

"They know everything Marcus after you had died, everyone knew everything about you. The suicide attempts, depression everything."

"I was not planning on doing anything stupid, just have time to think that is all" Not that I got much thinking done.

"You never plan, that was the worry, come on you're coming back to mine" Nodding I agree, I don't want to argue tonight.

"Now, come on" Getting up I follow him out to the car, Jackson staying silent the whole drive back, getting out he looks at me.

"I am sorry, I just didn't want Alena hurt again, I know it will take time to figure things out, especially as you shouldn't have your own life for so many years. Stay here until you figure out what you want Marcus" He shouldn't be so kind.

"I already know what I want, either way, I want to be in Alena's and your lives, even just as friends" That is one thing I am sure of now, I can't walk away from Alena again.

"I can't walk away from Alena again, if I knew I would, I wouldn't have come back and let them possibly walk free" We reach the door, and he smiles.

"Good, because me and Alena were talking, and we agreed to try it for real this time, not just two weeks while you were here, but for life" Walking in Alena stands there smiling, she looks far too happy, and once again I feel like something is going to destroy her happiness.

"So, I think we should talk, but tomorrow, when you have less booze in your system" Alena pokes me while talking, nodding I agree.

"Bed then" I laugh at her words shaking my head.

"I am sorry, but I don't do orders, you need to remember that kitten" She smiles and nods.

"That may be, but sometimes you need orders, and the one now is you have to go and sleep off the contents of your stomach" Nodding I walk upstairs, the hushed whispers of Alena and Jackson behind me. 

The thought of Maria fresh in my mind as I lay down, did I cause her to become so bitter and hateful? If I did will I cause Alena to turn the same? She is beautiful, caring and wild, I don't want to destroy her like I clearly did Maria. This self-doubt and self-hatred need to stop, I know it does, but sometimes I can keep swimming above the thoughts and nights like tonight they take over. 

I am glad Jackson came and got me, I know being here I won't try anything stupid, and the way I am feeling tonight isn't good. I won't sleep, I know I won't, moving I get undressed, climbing in the shower I turn it on, standing for what seems like ages before just sitting, watching the water fall around me.

"Make room" Looking up Alena is stood there in a chemise.

"No, I will get out" She steps into the shower stopping me, sitting down opposite me.

"So talk then" I don't want to burden her with my issues.

"You should be with Jackson, it is late go get some sleep" Smiling at her I point out the shower, I should really get out myself.

"Well unlucky for you, Jackson told me to come to see you and if I must stay with you all night, so no" She crosses her arms, huffing I give up, she isn't going to leave me.

"I will be fine honestly, I am here, alive and not going to do something stupid" I don't think I could anyway, I saw her face when she thought I had died, years of that face plaguing my dreams, I can't do that to her again.