Sympathy but it's from CallMeKevin

9

^^Free art I drew of Kevin^^

Kevin and I walked back into his place with me mostly carrying about everything I had on myself while Kevin held less. I just didn't want to go down to the car again and help Kevin bring everything in and I didn't want him to go down there by himself and started carrying it both of our weights having to carry few at a time. Kevin set down his as I joined and placed them on the counter with a failed attempt as I also had to get Kevin to do it too.

Knowing I wasn't that strong set in on me as I knew that was one of my problems. The thought of the man that was... on me, let me start to feel a little less in touch with the world again. We just had a nice time out, unfortunately I couldn't stay out any longer than the grocery store trip.

Cutting our trip short as I didn't bother to get out of the car at our next stop so we just turned around. I felt like a huge baby but Kevin was more than thrilled to be out of the darkness of his home and into the light of the world. It was the opposite for me of course, I didn't bother to stay in the kitchen to put away stuff, so I rushed over to my room and started to jump into my bed and cover myself from head to toe in my covers.

Going out today was just absolutely draining, I can't take another second of being outside of this room. I was tired, cold, and... lonely. I wasn't lonely before? I only seemed out of it, and now I wanted Kevin just in the same room.

Then the thought of Kevin watching me was upsetting again. Sinking deeper into my blanket, feeling myself going deeper into the darkness again. I had to cut Kevin's trip short due to my selfish reasons. What was wrong with me?

He was a lot better than me, and he wasn't the one who got... everything to him. Kevin was sweet, and I would make him do the shit I want!

A knock on the door interrupted my selfhatred, as I peered out of my blanket to see Kevin with a smile on his face. He made his way over to me with a spring in his walk as I just started to cover myself yet again, what a joy. Kevin sat down on the bed next to me with a sigh of relief as he looked to me.

"Hi!" He started, laughing softly. My eyes glanced away as I felt myself being awkward. He tried to wait for me before a response, I never even bothered to. Kevin slowly started to take more relaxing tone with me. "So..." He started, moving his hand in front of mine. "I just wanna say I'm really proud of you... moving through the real world right now."

"Kevin..."

"I just want to say, I'm glad you came with me..." Kevin started to lean forward and lean on his elbows that were on his knees. "And I'm sorry for getting you upset there." Kevin bowed his head down as I looked at his back. Kevin wasn't happy but quickly turned to face reality. "You are a great friend... and I just wanna talk about... what happened." Kevin started, waiting for reaction but honestly I started wanting to creep away from him from the moment he mentioned it. "I'm here for you." Kevin started, feeling a hand being set on top of my head, I started brushed it off instantly as I don't want to feel touch right now.

He seemed more disappointed in me, which wasn't a comfortable feeling at all. I mean, rejecting him and his positive vibes just made me feel worse about it. Kevin's hand was still in front of me, so I grabbed onto his index finger and pulled it to my face. Hesitantly, I looked to his eyes to see him looking into mine with a stare that I've never seen in him before. Should I let go? Should I move over and let him sleep next to me?

No, it was still daylight.

"S-Sorry..." I mumbled, letting go. My hand pulled back under the covers as I see him slowly smiling in a tender way. He looked relaxed. "You should... work on your videos." I sheltered myself away from him.

Kevin's hand slid away and into his lap. "Uh..." He started, then taking a breath. His breathing was faster than normal but I didn't want to ask why. He just started to stand up and stretch the sheets around me. "You're right... I do need to work."

Kevin slowly took a step to the door. My eyes peered at him as he started to close the door to my room. Just the silence as I heard the door click shut and I was alone once more...

I felt alone again, but calling Kevin would be too rude especially when I shoo'd him off. The need for attention grew, making me close my eyes to ignore it. Slowly letting go into sleep once more.