Sympathy but it's from CallMeKevin

21

"Kevin?" I knocked in his door, feeling myself grabbing at the ends of shirt and fumbling it into a ball. "Please," I knocked again. Feeling myself wanting to curl into a ball. He didn't open and I just started to slump over and wanted to die just about. "Where are you?" I asked myself, feeling on edge. I started to get worried because I was being loud and he just wasn't wanting to answer the door. I let go of my shirt and decided that he didn't want me to do anything with him right now. He seemed disappointed with me but it was only 6pm so that means here's avoiding me right?

My eyes watered and I wiped them down. Why didn't he want to see me?

"Hey are you okay?" Kevin asked as I looked up to see him walking up the stairs. I quickly blushed and felt more awkward, oh my god I'm so weird.

"Oh! Um, I'm..." I stumbled, backing up. "Kevin I was just!" My words we're incoherent and I didn't even know what I was doing. I bumped into the wall, from backing up and jumped forward because I got scared. Kevin rushed over to me and grabbed onto my shoulders as I started freaking out but because I felt awkward.

"Are you okay?" Kevin asked me sincerely checking up on my well being.

"Yes!" I shouted.

"Are you sure?" He smugly said, starting to relax me as well as himself.

"Yeah," my eyes stared into his as I smiled.

"Just wanted to make sure." Kevin said, pulling away. "I'm gonna go-"

"Wait Kevin," I stopped him, he showed up instantly answering grabbed onto his hand. It wasn't just his index finger either, I slowly engulfed his entire hand against mine. His was a lot bigger than mine, and I could feel my own body warming up. "I-I want you to..." I just turned so awkward around him, it wasn't like I was still scared of them. I was in a sense, I felt scared as if I was going to lose him.

"Yes?"

My body went cold, I had no words to say but I was done with that. He was taller then me so I pulled him down with his hands and got on my tippy toes. "Kevin, I..." Failing, but slowly noticing the mood shift.

"Yes...?" He turned soft.

"I... want you..."

"Want me to...?"

This is hard. Instead, I moved my arms to his neck. "You..." I mumbled.

He started to lean in, as did we but he stopped before me. "Wait..." Kevin started to stand up taller as I grown and turned worried. "I don't want to do anything with you, I'm worried about you."  He said, as I backed up. "You're still really shy and I don't want to be with you if I'm your only option."

"Kevin, I..." No stop losing your words. "I'm shy because I was already antisocial before it happened."

Kevin looked confused as we stepped away from each other. He looked to the floor, paying no mind to me but only to feel like he can't form any words. He's smarter then me and know how to shut up.

"Kevin-"

"I need time to myself." Kevin pushed past me, moving to his room.

Figuring that was the end of it, I looked back to my room. Going back there would buy into the thing that I was shy. I'm not just a scared little girl, I wanna be braver and I don't need Kevin.

Out I go.