Sympathy but it's from CallMeKevin

10

"No!" I screamed, kicking my legs as woke up to sweat on my forehead and my heart beating harder than ever as I started crying for my hands to cover over my own face and start to panic. I didn't know what was going on, but I just had the most horrific experience. It was real, I knew it was real, because it was in the past.

It was definitely so vivid, I didn't know what was happening. I can feel him inside of me still, feeling his hands pushing against me on his fingertips digging deeper to make bruises and scratches. My hand for my face tell them to my neck as I felt a little scar across my throat from when he held the blade to my throat.

The pounding between my legs made me shake and quiver. In a bad way of course. This wasn't happening was it?

No, no...

Not again.

Wiping the sweat and tears from my face as I just felt myself wanting to break into thousands of pieces on the bed. Moving in my bed was harder since I felt the stretch and burns of my cuts each time it moved. My lungs felt like they burned like water entered into it.

The darkness consumed around me as I looked to the widow to see it dark outside. I fell asleep when it was dark and my fear factor shot up like crazy.

Hicking, I started to grab my pillow and shoved it into my lap and set my face in it as I scrunched my fingers into it. Oh my God, why was this happening? I think I was even more terrified than when it was actually happening.

"...hello?" Knocking on the door  as I figured it was Kevin at the door. It was something I was used to it by now, he was such a kind soul with constantly checking up on me no matter what. "Are you okay?" Kevin opened the door, coming inside but first peeking in slowly. Seeing me made him open the door fully as rushing over to me. "Woah, what happened?" Kevin asked with a concerned tone coming over his voice and his eyes widening.

Looking to him, he sat on my bed and tried looking me in the eyes. Grabbing onto his hand I pulled it into mine as his hands were much bigger than mine. His I slowly scan the area to finally land on our hands. Feeling him squeeze mine being me relax a lot more. "Kevin..." I started, pulling him into to lay down on the blanket to lay down. "I'm... sorry to wake you up."

"I haven't gone to bed yet, you don't really need to worry about that." Kevin readjusted to look at me as we laid down next to each other. "Its only 3am," he waved it off like it was nothing.

"It's late..."

"I-" he yawned, taking a break, "will be here til you're asleep..." His thumb moved back and forth on mine.

He wanted to nod off, but I felt scared still. Without trying to wake him, I crawled into his personal space... my personal space. Without a surprise, I failed not to wake him up. Kevin's eyes widen, as I looked into them. His smile warmed me up instantly. "Your closer than usual..."

My hand slowly let go on him.

"Wait... I... I like it." He opened up, trying to look at my eyes as I tried to coward away. He seemed completely honest with it, only to make me feel a little bit worse than before. Why was he liking it? It felt like my body was telling me no, but knowing that he was proud at this moment that I would even let a person going close to this area while I wasn't trying to hide myself was something amazing. I moved closer, maybe a little too close but it was definitely welcoming to Kevin.

"Are you okay now?" He asked again, making me remember why I was getting upset in the first place. Seeing him noticing my reaction just meet me put myself into a fake mood pretending to be fine. His fingertip started to brush against my palm, going up and down to try to get me to talk once more. "You can talk to me."

He was right, and the fact that I was ignoring it for this long was going too much. I know he's seen me take it, and he was the one that called the police. Should I really be ignoring this subject? I mean, it hurt me a lot more than him but I think it would cause him to be a little bit scared in a way.

Grabbing on his hand, I finally looked into his eyes with something more than just pain behind mine. Deciding it would be nice to talk about it just a little bit.