Sympathy but it's from CallMeKevin

20

With a yawn out of no where, and from me; it interrupted our shows. Kevin paused the entertainment and set his hand on mine which was on my lap. "Do you want to sleep?" He asked as I shifted to not only get closer but to basically lay on him.

"Kinda," I mentioned, "but I wanna be here with you." Kevin tended up, as I realized what I said. "I mean...!" I blurted, pushing assay from Kevin. When I let that slip something inside of me just wanted to get away. "I'm sorry, I just-" cutting myself off, I wonder how I would solve this problem actually. Should I tell him the truth? Even though all this stuff we've been through has been chaotic.

Burying my face in my hands, I tried not to look at him. Oh my god, feelings were rushing out of me and I don't know! What do I do! Kevin set his hand on my wrist and didn't try to pull my arm away. I wanted to cry in my own humiliation even though I did so little! I was overreacting way too much.

"Wait... I'm sorry." Kevin started, but it didn't make sense of what he was doing, I don't know why he was thinking to apologize. "I don't know what's going on anymore and I thought being here for you was gonna be better, but by your reactions lately it seems we're losing progress." He explained.

"Wh-What?" My words fumbled.

"You seem to get really nervous..." He said as I lowered my hands.

"I'm shy around others... but you... I am nervous." I retorted back to him. "Kevin I... I don't know." I looked down to my lap and I was not 100% sure what my next choices should be and how I should execute them.  "Kevin, I-I like being around you!" I blurred out and looked to his eyes. "Being with you is all I wanna do because I don't trust anyone else, you have been my only friend after everything and you've gotten me to push past the thing that happened..."

"We don't have to talk about-"

"I don't care but as long as you're here with me I feel protected." I decided to interrupt him, which was the most out of character thing that I could have done at that moment. I was not used to being in control of my own words but the nervous and courage of myself was really into it right now. Pushing myself even further I moved myself closer to him and hugged his arm. "Please, I want to be with you..."

"What do you mean?" He seemed confused, and slight red. His hand moved to my knee.

I couldn't even answer that, I wanted to say something, I wanted to do something, but my body wouldn't let me. I felt like I was absolutely stunned and slowly it turned to shame. He didn't need anyone like me to be with him did he? I felt scared again.

"I... Kevin... We..." I couldn't start a sentence. "We're... good friends." I slowly let go of his arm only to see his expression drop and somehow getting even more pale from what I said.

"Oh uh..." Kevin frowned, taking himself back, taking away his hand from me. "Right." He smiled, looking deadpan as he usually was. "You know I'm here for you."

My body jolted as I stood up with red all over my face. "I'm sorry, you're not just a friend!" I started to fumble, my feet digging into the ground. "Kevin! You're, you're like my best friend!" I clutched my hands into a fist.

That's not what I meant to say! Why did I say that?

Kevin was just confused as I tilt the chance fleed away from me. Did I just friendzoned myself?

"I'm sorry!" I yelled at him to make him very confused as I turned around and walked away. I can't handle it right now.