Sympathy but it's from CallMeKevin

12

I know what I did with Kevin was amazing progress, but I couldn't help but to feel like I was receding back onto myself. He was a lot more patient with me, I had to admit that but I wasn't so sure about what was happening. As of my life, was I really this pointless?

Feeling like it was completely useless, I decided to finally be something instead. I started to go to the kitchen, already pulling out necessary stuff for the food I was going to make for him. It was just going to be a sandwich. He's been doing his own thing lately, which I need to be here for him.

Looking around the room, I catch a glimpse of plates as I started to take them out of the cupboards. My first instinct was to pull out the bread out of the bags, sending them onto the plates.

If I eat, he'll be happy, I don't really want to... but Kevin... he's my everything right now.

Starting to pull out the knife for the mayo, I smoothed the blade against my finger as I feel the rigid edge threatening to cut my finger open. I do let it happen, but I knew I was tempted to do something this bad. I haven't, and I don't think I'm will.

Taking a breath, I decided to finally use it for the good reason. I pull out some of the mayo and smother it down to onto the bread. Doing it for his, and my one half bred. Setting the knife down on the edge of the sink, I start the water and let it hit against the knife until all the mayo is off of it.

I started prepping the rest of the sandwiches, glancing up the the knife, wondering what it would feel like once it hit my skin and started tearing human flesh.

Shaking my head, dissipating the thought for my head, I look the opposite way as I started finishing up the lunch I'm preparing. Kevin would like it right? As I started to walk by the sync, I took one last glance at the knife that I left.

By my own stupid mistake, I stumbled against my own foot in the plate hit the ground louder than anything. The sudden break of the plate, made the hallway Echo a door opening. Following by some heavy footsteps hitting the stairs, as I hear the motion towards me.

Kevin's in the doorway of the kitchen, staring at me with the most intense look on his face. He looks scared, but relieved that it was just my stupid, fucking dumb, agonizingly stupid ways. Getting to my knees, I finally started to feel a burn in my eyes. I was crying without even knowing it, I just gotten so used to it the feeling of being depressed was always there.

"Woah, woah..." Kevin, kicking some of the plate away from the area he was stepping to, kneel down and looked me in the eye. "Are you okay...?" He asked.

"I..." covering my mouth, I looked to the plate and the sandwiches did I prepare for us across the floor. Kevin looked in the direction I was, noticing that it was my failure. Crying out more, he grabbed onto my hand but I pulled away enough to where he would only grab my index finger.

"It's okay, it's okay... I understand that it was a mistake."

I was the mistake...

"You just go to the bathroom and clean up... I'll fix everything up!" He smiled as he started to pull me off the floor.

Has a notice that he started cleaning without me when I bring you, I felt useless. Looking back to the thing that distracted me, I grabbed it and press it against my wrist with one hand as I ran to the bathroom.