Chemistry in Summer

Chapter 13

While Logan and I started getting closer, Jamie and I grew more distant. Jamie has been spending a lot of time with Mia. I assume it's because of their own rehearsals, but I think there is more going on between them. I won't pry though. I don't like Mia, but Jamie seems happy. I always thought I have a crush on him and seeing him with Mia caused a pang of jealousy at the beginning, but I never entertained it. After a few days that jealousy subsided, mainly due to how close I've gotten with Logan. I knew I liked him, but I never knew how much.

I look forward to seeing him everyday after I wake up and before I go to bed. We talk more and I can see that he takes a genuine interest in what I'm saying. Sometimes I catch myself daydreaming when he's talking, so I don't always hear what he is saying and whenever he catches me doing so I blame it on lack of sleep. Although I can't get over what he said the other day about hurting me. What did he mean?

"Where's your mind at today?" he asks as usual, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Lack of sleep," I say shrugging.

"Strange that you mentioned how well you slept earlier. And why is that always your excuse?" he says. What am I supposed to say now?

"I just like thinking a lot," I tell him.

"About what?" he says.

"It's not of your interest," I tell him.

"How do you know? It might be, but you just won't let me in," he says. I refuse to tell him how I feel. After a while he stops pestering me and says, "Fine then. Keep it to yourself. Just know that if anything is bothering you, you're welcome to talk to me about it." Then this idiot puts his hand on mine and gives me the cutest grin. I'm sure I'm staring at him like an idiot now.

"May I ask you something?" I ask, deciding to put my mind at ease.

"Sure, go ahead," he says, still looking at me with the most adorable expression. I can't help, but to scrunch my nose up as he looks at me while being so cute. I could almost kiss him. "Quit making funny faces while staring at me and ask," he says chuckling. I quickly hide my face in embarrassment.

When I finally have composure, I quickly blurt out, "I heard what you said the other day before I fell asleep with my head on your lap." I didn't even have to elaborate, because I saw his face change for a split second before he smiled again. "What did you mean by that?" I ask him.

"Oh, it was nothing. I was just tired and probably sleep talking. I don't know," he says shrugging and then looks away. Usually I'd just let it go, but I want to hear him tell me that he likes me again and I want to know what he meant when he said he doesn't want to hurt me.

"Logan, please just tell me. You just said if anything is bothering me I should tell you, but now you're cowering away," I tell him attempting to put my hand on his shoulder before he gently moves away.

"It's honestly nothing. Why can't you just let it go?" he says harshly, causing me to flinch. He's never spoken to me like that before.

"If it's really such a big deal to you, I'll just leave and you can sort your issues out on your own," I tell him whilst getting up, ready to leave.

"Caley wait. I'm sorry. Please stay," he says. When he sees that I won't budge and I'm still heading towards the door, he says, "Okay, I'll tell you. But just what you need to here."

I then turn around, but instead of sitting next to him, I sit across him instead.

"What exactly did you hear?" he asks.

"That you like me, but you don't want to hurt me," I say hesitantly. Not wanting to trigger whatever I triggered earlier.

"Well I like you. More than I intended to. In fact, it was never my intention to like you. The more I got to know you the more I started liking you and feeling stuff I don't want to. I'm not the type to get feelings and no offense, but you're not the type I'd usually fall for. You differ from the girls I usually like, but a good kind of different. I feel like I can tell you anything, yet I don't want to push you away by letting you know everything. I'm really trying to control myself around you, but I can't. I'd love to hug you and hold you and tell you everything about my day and spend as much time as I can with you here, but I don't want you to get too attached. I'm sure you know that Jamie doesn't like me and recently Mia started disliking me too. It's because of something I did that I didn't think would have any repercussions. I wanted to apologize, but my pride won't let me. I just don't want you to get caught up in something you might not get out of. It's not as bad as it sounds, but when you actually hear what I did you'll probably hate me too. Just promise me you won't believe anything anyone tells you before coming to me with it first," he says. It all sounded so jumbled up, but at least I got most of it and I heard what I wanted to hear. He likes me.

"I won't judge you. Just be honest with me at all times," I say smiling. He then moves over to sit next to me.

"Seeing that you know how I feel, tell me how you feel. Do you feel the same or are you just about to friend zone me now after I poured out my heart? If you do, please go gentle on me," he says pouting, he seems half joking and half serious.

"I think I like you too," I say and then I quickly look away.

"So you won't mind if I kiss you?" he says leaning closer. Even his smell is addictive. I quickly shake my head no, and before long his lips are on mine. We stayed sitting for a while until he gently picked me up and put me on his lap. He then licked my lip asking for entrance and I gladly obliged. We made out for a while until I felt something hard against my thighs. Knowing what it was I quickly stopped and pulled away from him staring at him with my eyes wide.

"I'm sorry. It's just nature's way of telling you, you're a good kisser and I'm really attracted to you. In order to control it you have to get off me quickly while I go outside for a small bit to take care of it. I won't be long," he says and rushes outside. It really wasn't long before he came back in. "Just don't touch my hands for now and I think I should sit over here, just for now." he says when he enters again causing me to scrunch my face knowing what he did now. Yet again he chuckles at this.

"So what does this mean?" I ask him.

"I don't know. I don't know, but I don't want to mislead you or hurt you. Just know that there is definitely something and that I'm extremely jealous, but I won't act upon any of my feelings unless you want me to. Don't tell anyone about this for now. We'll figure it out later. Let's just go with the flow," he says. "I think it's time we leave. I'll take you back to your cabin," he says and then offers his arm seeing that his hands are still not safe to touch.

"I was thinking that maybe we should hang out some time, like not for rehearsal as we usually do and maybe in a secluded place here so we can actually have some privacy, you know. Just to talk and do whatever," he says when we get to our cabin.

"How about tonight? I think we ought to have enough privacy while everyone is asleep," I say sounding a bit too eager.

"I can't. I actually want to go to bed early. Maybe tomorrow? Maybe we could meet at the big Rock near the ribbon tree. It's always quiet there. We could even take a blanket with and just chill," he says and somehow I felt weird when he said it because usually he looks directly at me when he talks, but now he looked away and he looked a bit guilty for some reason.

"Sounds good. See you tomorrow!" I say and give him a quick hug before I head inside. Pushing aside the feeling that something isn't right.

I know he said I shouldn't tell anyone about this, but he never said not to ask around about him. Or will I sound too interested and obsessed? This guy is so mysterious sometimes, but maybe I should just deal with it. I guess I should just let it go and not make too much of it. Telling me that he likes me is enough.