Broken || The Outsiders

19

"This could possibly be my last night with them forever."

Rainn's P.O.V.
(May 25, 1953)

Pain struck hard when I saw that whole thing with the car crash. I didn't know anything about that family or the guy that got shot, but just disappointment was all I felt. That guy got shot and died because of me. That family won't have a father because of me. That wife won't have a husband to hold her because of me. Because of me.

I sat up on the couch as Johnny walked through the front door. He looked around and then his eyes landed on me.
"Are you okay? I heard what happened?"
"I'm fine."
"I can tell by the way you look, you are not fine."
"It was because of me."
"What do you mean?"
"That crash, the death of that man was because of me."
"How could you have done it?"
"I don't need you worrying about me okay?Everything is fine, I'm fine, we'll all be fine. Tonight we're going to the Curtis'. I need to talk to Darry and I don't want to cook."
"You really aren't okay."
"Please don't push this, I'm fine okay? I'm prefect."
He looked away and made his way to the stairs, "I know you aren't. Even though you say nothing hurts you, something about that crash hurt you. You don't have to hide your feelings or you'll end up like Dally."

I sat with my head in hands, my breathing hitched, and I sat and thought. My mind floated in so many different ways. One thought lead to the other. "You'll end up like Dally." Was running in my mind. I was so over it, if you think about it, I don't even know if I'll make it out alive.

—at the Curtis'—

Me and Johnny walked in the front door, all eyes were on me. I didn't say a word, I was not in the mood to explain everything that happened and why I feel this way. All I did was walk back to the kitchen and saw Darry cooking.

"Oh hey Rainn."
"Hey Dar, I need to talk to you."
"Can we talk after dinner, this is almost ready."
"This really can't wait."
"Okay, what is it about?"
"I need your help, that's all."
He turned around and looked at me, "Of course, what do you need?"
I looked at the dinning room to make sure the boys weren't listening, "I need you to keep Johnny here, he just can't come home."
"What's wrong?"
"Just please do this for me?"
"Of course I will, but what's wrong?"
"I'm in danger okay? I can't have you or Johnny or the rest of the gang to be with me. I have to fight my battles alone."
"Rainn, we can he-"
"Darry please? Just keep him safe and the gang too."
He sighed and looked back behind me, "Yeah, okay, when do you want him to stay?"
"Tonight, I'll bring his school stuff and some clothes. I'm going to have to disappear for a little while, I'm not going to stay around here."
"When are you leaving?"
I paused, "I'm leaving tonight."
"Does anyone else know?"
"Of course not, they wouldn't be able to keep their mouths shut, and you better kept a yours shut."
"When are you bringing his stuff?"
"When I'm leaving, I'll just walk in and say goodbye to him then disappear. If he needs anything there will be a key in his backpack."
"Okay, are you staying for dinner?"
"Yeah, I'm going to enjoy this last night with them," I paused looking back at the gang, "this could possibly be my last night with them forever."

— Later —

After dinner, I stayed around for a little while, and my time with them was coming to an end.

I didn't know what to say to Johnny, or the whole gang in general. I don't want them to worry about me, that is the last thing that I want them to do at all. I just want for them to be safe and everything be fine in the end. So the only thing I could think of doing was just leave without them knowing. Johnny was already passed out on the couch and most of he guys already left.

I just wanted to wait for Darry to give that sign that he was going to bed and the others follow. I sat at the kitchen table and admire Johnny from afar. He looked so peaceful asleep, so much younger too. His hair was a mess from the rubbing against the pillows and couch, but it looked adorable. His soft pink lips were lightly opened and from where I was sitting could hear his soft snores.

"You must really love him by the way you look at him." I heard as I was snapped out of my thoughts. I looked over at Soda sitting across from me at the table.
"You have no idea." I rested my head in my hand.
"Is that how you feel with the rest of us?" He asked as he put away cards.
"Sometimes you all can be very annoying, but yes, I love you all too." I confirmed back watching his moves closely.
"Really?" He asked closing the box.
"I would take a bullet for you guys."
"Damn, I wouldn't even do that." He said crossing his arms leaning back in the chair.
"Without you guys, I don't even know where I would be."
"You've done a lot for us Rainn."
"You've done a lot for me Sodapop."
"Where would you have gone? Ya know if you didn't meet me and Steve?"
"I've always dreamed of taking Route 66 all the way to California. So probably somewhere there."
"California?"
"It's beautiful there."
"I bet."
"Where would you go?"
"Away from here. I would do anything to just get out of here and see the world."
"Don't you have any fears?"
"Fears? No. If I had my best friend sitting next to me the whole time, there wouldn't be a single fear in sight."
"Well why don't you tell Steve about this?"
"He didn't see my dream the way I did."
"Nobody sees the way you do."
He chuckled, "Yeah I know."

He looked at the clock, and stood up, "I'm going to bed, you okay with Johnny?"
I looked over at him, "I'm just fine."
He nodded and walked over to me giving me a kiss on the head, "Goodnight Rainn."
I smiled, "Goodnight Soda."

I stood up pushing my chair in and walked into the living room turning off the light. I softly opened the door and stepped out, careful not to wake Johnny, closed it, and ran back home.

When I got home, I went to Johnny's room, got his book bag. I fished around his room to get things that he'll need for the morning, and lastly put a key in the side pocket. I walked back out and went to my room getting my bag packed and things that I might need. Then lastly went into my closet getting a medium sized bag of money.

When I walked back toward the stairs, I remember discovering that one closet that had old papers from this place. I rolled my eyes, opening the door, and keeping it open. When ever Johnny returns he'll see the door and wonder there it. Maybe might discover something I didn't.

I hustled down the stairs and closed everything up, and went to my car. I threw my things in the back seat and Johnny's in the front. I sped off to the Curtis' and once I got there I slowly walked to the door, opening it again softly, and creep in. I stepped where there wouldn't be a creek in the floor boards. The only reason how I knew this was because Soda told me when he snuck out to see Sandy, he remember where to step.

I saw Johnny still fast asleep, so I put the bag on the floor next to him and lightly kissed his forehead. Lucky me, he didn't wake up. I stepped back out of the house and ran back to my car, and drove off.

That's where things got scary. When things started to take a turn. I started to hear the ringing.