Hypersonic | Zayn Malik | AU

35 | the one where he missed her

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The One Where He Missed Her

"It has been said time heals all wounds. In reality, the wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its own sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it's never truly gone."

— Unknown

A/N: is anyone still here? probably not 😭 but i'm updating anyways bc i missed writing so much 😭 long authors note ahead and a bit of a shorter chapter (plot wise) but i'm thinking the next one should be longer. i have big plans for it 😈

so, I know I've been away for like 6+ months now, but I can offer a large explanation. as always, I'm not making excuses, just giving you all an insight into my life and what's been going on. so, some of you might remember me having delayed updates before due to my grandpa being sick and in the hospital often and my childhood dog being diagnosed with terminal cancer. this february, my dog died. barely three weeks later, my grandpa died suddenly. it was fucking awful. I didn't come on twitter for about five months bc I desperately needed the time to grieve. about three weeks ago, I lost my other grandfather as well. granted, I didn't have a relationship with him for nearly a decade, but it's still a sense of loss I've been dealing with. in a matter of six months, I've gone from having three grandparents to only one. I also lost a few close longtime family friends. it's been a year of grieving.

of all the people in my life, my one grandpa and my (lone, still alive) grandma have/are always my largest supporters when it came/comes to writing. when they heard about my teachers encouraging me to write, they were soooo excited. my grandpa frequently asked when I was writing my first book. that's why this has been so hard for me. he never knew I wrote online (I'm highkey terrified to admit I write smutty fan fiction bc of the stigma surrounding it) and that I have a story with over 750k reads and a combined 1m+ over all of my stories. he would've been sooo proud, I know that. and I guess I've felt guilty for keeping it from him. he died and I was never able to tell him. even typing this up, I feel so incredibly guilty that it brings tears to my eyes. he wasn't able to share a pivotal moment in my life that I'll never forget.

and it's taken a lot to get over those feelings. I know he'd never not want me to write/do something I love, but I still have those guilty feelings. it wasn't until a couple weeks ago that I finally felt the urge to write again. so, here I am and I hope some of you have continued to stick around (if you're new, hi!) and I hope that I can continue to write stories that people enjoy.

alright, hope y'all enjoy!! 💕

C H A S E

"Last night was nice, hm?" I question, wrapping my arms around Zara—I think that's her name—and brush hair off her shoulder, pressing my lips to the skin I've exposed.