2173

XXXVIII

June 11, 2173

I wake up sobbing hysterically.

I look around alarmingly and see that Ash is still asleep.

My eye brows furrow in anger, I know he is a heavy sleeper; but it annoys me that he won't wake up to my screams.

I carefully get out of his bed that walk out to my room, even though it was a dream I don't want to be near him.

I still have Iris and my great grandfather but I want to be left alone, the last time I had alone time was when we still lived in the city.

Even then, my alone time usually barely lasted ten minutes, so now that we are staying here for a while I hope I can get more alone time.

I lay down in my bed and cry, sometimes I wish I never went into my mom's textbook and found out about America, or that I thought it was a coincidence my great grandfather and I had the same last names.

Other times, I am happy I did it, I would have never known the things I do now and I would have never met Iris.

Without Iris we probably would have gotten arrested a long time ago and stayed there.

Without her we could have never broken out of prison.

Thinking about prison makes me think about when my mom yelled at me over the phone, since her and my dad got divorced she hasn't yelled at me once.

Even at the time when I almost got suspended for punching someone, she never yelled.

The phone call shocked me completely, I would have expected that from another parent, but not her.

I want to call and say sorry but I think that us being away from each other for a while is the best thing both of us.

My head is spinning with hundreds of unanswered questions and questions that could never be solved, the one that has been repeated many times is, how is everyone at home?

They could be getting attacked by interviewer this second.

They could be ashamed to go out in public because they knew me as a friend.

They could have completely forgotten about me, and made new friends like I am an unworthy piece of trash.

All those possibilities seem so likely, but the last one seems like it is most likely what happened.

I hear a knock at the door and a voice, "Can I come in?"

"Come in, Ash." I say sadly.

"Why did you come back in here?" He asks me obviously concerned.

"I had a bad dream, thats all, and I wanted to be left alone for a while." I say.

"What was the dream about?" He asks and I bite my lip then look away.

"I don't want to say." I whisper.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" He says.

"Of course." I say then nod my head.

"Then why can't you tell me what happened in the dream?" He questions.

"It was horrible, I don't want to relive it. I woke up screaming." I say sounding mundane.

"Is that why you left? I didn't wake up when you screamed?" He asks sounding even more concerned then he did before.

"No." I lie.

"You're lying, your nose twitches when you lie." He says.

"Fine, I left because of that." I say while looking away.

"You could have woke me up, I would have stayed up with you." He says smiling.

"I know, I was just too freaked out to do anything so I just when straight to my room." I say feeling guilty that I left him for what happened in a dream.

"That's okay, do you want to go back to sleep or get more food?" He asks.

"More food, it's about time for lunch now anyways." I say while changing quickly and walking out of my room and we walk to the dining room for lunch.

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