in violent frustration | gerbert

Chapter Thirteen

Gerard talks with Dan as they're at lunch, everyone in their own conversations.

"You should come Gerard, you never get out, come on, it'll be fun" Dan encourages Gerars to go to a pary with them tonight.

"I don't know" Gerard says rubbing his neck, not much of a party type, not wanting to be around drunk teens.

"You need to live a little, but we won't pressure you" Jeph says, not wanting him to feel pressured.

"I don't want too" Gerard shakes his head, not wanting to go out tonight, especially to a party.

"Then I'm not going either" Bert says, not wanting to go if Gerard isn't, not wanting to leave Gerard out.

"Go Bert, I'll be fine. I'll probably just watch a movie" Gerard says, not wanting Bert to feel like he has to stay.

"I'll text you the adress in case you change your mind, okay?" Quinn says, in case he chooses to go.

They go through the rest of the day, Gerard contemplating weather he's going to go or not.

• • •

Gerard sits in bed alone, sighing as he really wants to be with Bert right now, should he go?

He feels like him and Bert are getting really close, in more ways than friends. I mean, they always playfully flirt, is Gerard thinking into it too much?

Gerard stands, dressing and applying his mascara and lip gloss. Bert seems to really love it, so Gerard makes the effort to make it a little more noticable.

Smiling as he examines himself, Gerard puts on his oversized sweater before leaving, pulling up the adress.

Walking there, Gerard plans to ask Bert how he feels. Gerard doesn't know what himself even feels, maybe Gerard likes him more than a friend?

He approaches a house where he hears the extremely loud music blaring from the yard.

Though music this loud is a trigger to his Epilepsy, he's not planning on being here for hours.

Walking in, having to squeeze by people considering how packed it is, Gerard looks around for them.

"Hey beautiful" Gerard hears Jeph's voice and see him walking over as he sees Gerard showed.

"Hey, jeez it's really loud" Gerard says looking around, hoping to find Bert through all the people.

"I think Bert went that way" Jeph says, knowing Gerard's looking for Bert and points to where he thinks he is.

Gerard makes his way through people in the direction Jeph pointed him in, excited to see Bert.

But his heart sinks when he gets past a group of people, finding that someone obviously caught Bert's attention.

He sees Bert pressed against someone, their back to the wall as they make out, kissing down the guys neck.

Their bodies pressed against one another pushed against the wall, both overly into it, eager.

"F-Fuck" The man moans as Bert kisses down his neck, hands running down Bert's body as he does so.

Gerard sighs sadly turning around before he feels a hand on his back, looking up to see Quinn.

"Are you okay hun?" Quinn asks looking at Bert and the guy, who's hand is already slipping down Bert's pants as they make out.

Gerard just sighs, continuing to get through people, leaving the overly loud house and down the street

"Gerard! Hold up!" He hears Quinn call and hears the footsteps of him jogging to catch up to him.

"Come to my place Gee" Quinn offers as they walk down the dark street in the cold, still able to hear the music in the distance behind them.

"No, it's fine. I just- I just want to rest" Gerard sighs, his heart acheing at the fact Bert's interested in other guys.

"You're one of my closest friends and you're upset, I'm not leaving you alone" Quinn says sweetly.

"We can drink some hot coco and talk, sound good?" Quinn says wrapping an arm around a shivering Gerard as they walk together.

Gerard smiles softly, looking up at Quinn from the pavement, "Okay"

The two walk to Quinn's home, Quinn staying silent to give Gerard some time to think before they talk at home.

"Marshmellos? Or no marshmellos" Quinn asks from the kitchen as he makes hot coco.

"Marshmellos!" Gerard calls, sat on the floor in-front of the heater with a blanket.

After a minute, Quinn walks back into the room with the drinks, handing Gerard his as he takes a seat on the floor next to Gerard.

"I'm sorry Bert did that Gee, he can be a real asshole sometimes" Quinn says, feeling bad for Gerard.

"He didn't do anything, we're not together, he's free to sleep with whoever he wants" Gerard sighs.

"Baby, I seen the look on your face when you seen them. You were heartbroken" Quinn says.

Gerard just looks down at his drink as he holds it on his knee with both hands, to warm them up from the hot cup.

"He's lead you on Gerard, we've all seen it. What he did was uncalled for" Quinn says, taking a sip.

"I just thought we were getting close, I don't know what I was really expecting to happen, I was going to talk to him about it tonight" Gerard sighs.

"Are you gay, Gerard? I mean, you were obviously hoping to get together" Quinn asks, making Gerard look up.

"Gay? No, no. I wasn't expecting anything, I just-" Gerard begins to stress, as they obviously think Gerard's gay, which he's not.

Being gay is a sin. No man shall lay with another man. Gerard can't be gay, he can't make that sin.

Quinn rubs Gerard's arm before wrapping his around the red head, letting Gerard lean into him.

"I just thought he really liked me" Gerard sighs, laying his head on Quinn as he's leaned into him.

Quinn reassures him, making him feel better enough to cheer him up to his pretty smile.

But it's not long before the two are passed out, bundled together in a blanket on the floor.