in violent frustration | gerbert

Chapter Sixteen

"Fag!"

"Faggot!"

"Cock sucker!"

Gerard listens as two teens tease him as he exchanges his books at his locker, they've messed with him every chance they've gotten today.

It's not that the slurs effect him, it's just been making him think about all the shameful sins he's committed.

Is he gay? Gerard doesn't know how he feels, it's confusing.

Gerard sighs walking away, them just following and teasing him some more, Gerard ignoring them.

"You guys are pathetic, do you really not have anything better to do?" Gerard says, rolling his eyes.

"Nope, we don't appreciate faggots like you being around us in our school" The teen says as they follow him.

"Then why are you following me!? I don't care about you! You're the one around me! Are you stupid!?" Gerard says, not understanding their logic.

"Hey, what the hell is going on" Gerard hears Dan's voice, seeing him walking over with Bert, they were passing in the hall, by them and seeing.

The teens just scoff walking off, making Gerard sigh, "I can handle myself"

"What were they saying?" Bert asks, watching the teens as they walk away, not appreciating when anyone messes with Gerard.

"Nothing to worry about, but thanks for helping" Gerard nods, grateful, but just in deep thought right now.

• • •

Gerard sits on the couch watching a movie with Bryan and Donna, he enjoys this time with them, even if Bryan is really hard on him.

But Gerard's been in dozens of foster homes through the years, they're amazing parents. Though they're adoptive parents, Gerard loves them.

"Oh dear" Donna laughs when a scene comes up and a man strips of his shirt, amazing body and build.

Gerard's cheeks go dark red as he stares at the man on screen, not wanting to take his eyes from him like he knows he should.

"Gerard Arthur Way" Bryan says angrily from beside him, pausing the movie when he sees Gerard's eyes glued to the man on the screen.

"Bryan, it's a movie, where else is he supposed to look?" Donna tries to defend Gerard.

"Look at him! He's enjoying it! Gerard, go upstairs" Bryan says and Gerard obliges, hurrying upstairs.

Gerard sits on the bed and Bryan walks in, extremely unhappy with him.

Bryan begins to lecture Gerard, yelling to try and make it stick with Gerard that homosexuality is wrong.

"I-I'm sorry- it won't happen again" Gerard says, feeling guilty for what he's done, sinning.

"I don't want my only child going to hell for being influenced to be something he's not" Bryan says, calming down.

"Boys! Jenna and Bert are here!" Donna calls from downstairs as they're having dinner together tonight.

"C-Can I stay up here?" Gerard asks, upset after being yelled at, just needing to think about it all.

Bryan sighs, kissing Gerard's forehead, "Okay, just know that I do love you, even if I'm hard on you"

Bryan leaves, going downstairs. Gerard curls up in the corner of his bed hugging his knees, thinking.

Bert waits for Gerard to come down, getting excited when he hears footsteps, but let down when he sees it's only Bryan.

"He doesn't want to come down now" Bryan says when Donna looks to him, confused to see no Gerard.

"You're too hard on the boy, he's had a hard enough life, and you're not helping" Donna shakes her head.

"Can I use the bathroom?" Bert asks as an excuse, Donna smiling and telling him where it is.

Bert goes upstairs to Gerard's room, quietly opening the door so they don't hear him from downstairs.

His heart sinks when he walks in seeing Gerard curled in the corner of the bed, hugging his knees with his face laid on them.

"Baby, hey, what's wrong?" Bert asks sitting on the edge of the bed next to him, making Gerard look up.

"Nothing" Gerard forces a smile despite the tears brimming his eyes, making Bert sigh.

"Talk to me Gee, something's been bothering you for the past few days, talk to me" Bert says.

Gerard's bottom lip trembles as a tear slips, Gerard immediately wiping it, not wanting to be seen crying.

"The kids at school keep calling me gay, a faggot- then Bryan keeps telling me it's unforgivable, a sin, that I can't be" Gerard chokes.

"I don't know how to feel- I'm so confused" He weeps and Bert wraps his arm around the red head.

"Hey, shh, everyone tells you what you are and aren't. Think for yourself, what do you feel?" Bert coos.

"I-I don't know" Gerard says, his mind in the gutter as he tries to figure out how he feels.

"What are you attracted too, doll, you can't have a right or wrong answer, just think how you feel" Bert says.

"M-Men, I like guys" Gerard says, wiping his wet cheeks, admitting it to himself how he feels, weather it's a sin or not.

Bert places a kiss on his forehead, smiling softly at the red head at his side, "See dollface? Was that so hard?"

Gerard smiles, feeling so much better now and hugs Bert, thankful that he has him in his life.