The Love That I Dreamed © ( Updating)

21.21

 Dear, Diary... 

Off  to the party of the century while dying inside. 

The argument escalated due to the outfit change, sitting inside of the limo while cigar smoke was constantly being blown in my face was enough for me to lunch at him, my dress was satin material throwing my clutch at him, while we pulled up to the venue as he hurry to exit. camera's could see the distant body language on my part.  

Later at the Hotel in Manhattan. 

security exited the room, sitting on the bed exhausted. 

" What The fuck was your problem, you act like a bitch when you want to." he huffed as he closed the bedroom door. 

"Okay...Tommy whatever" Ignoring the antics to the best of my ability. 

He grabbed the newspaper tearing it apart to make sure I was giving him my full attention, and annoyingly I moved off to the side of the bed.

kicking off the heels and laying on my side. 

Previously In Toyko, Japan 1996 ( Hotel)

Falling on the bathroom floor, as I screamed for Tommy to awake, he came in half-sleep to me screaming in pain, I thought "This can't be happening right now Not Now!"  "The baby is coming!" Moaning in pain, and trying to take deep breaths, "I can't move!" I yelled at him. seeing blood everywhere only made things worse, everything felt like it was moving in slow motion, and the room began to spin. I thought I was going to die, Being rushed to the hospital just in time, as the nurse amber from literally no less than 36 hours saw me, she shook her head in disappointment. 

"I know," I said to her sadly, as she put the IV in my arm. 

"You're very blessed to be alive right now! Others aren't so lucky,"  she stated while grabbing the blood pressure chart. 

"Your pressure is up, you'll be staying the night, I knew we shouldn't have early released you." looking at the heart rate monitor go up and down.

Tommy rushed in to speak with the doctor, as he explained what happened in his own words. 

"Sir, you're going to have to leave the room." the nurse stated. 

Dr. James agreed as Tommy still yelled at the top of his lungs at them. 

they quickly shook their heads, "Take it easy and try to rest." he patted my shoulder, as I flinched in fear for what was to happen when I would eventually get home. 

Rest was the last thing I was thinking of, it was the fans are that kept me together with my fans, and God that was it. 

Investors were pulling out and advertisements Tommy was on edge, "Losing money" was not in his Vocabulary, plus I was his greatest investment of all. 

Thinking about everything but the baby was frantically making me ill, using the bucket on the side to throw up in, I desperately needed guidance. 

I felt Internally broken. here was god giving me a gift of life so I could slow down and appreciate it and I couldn't even do that. 

Shakingly I Began to pray to God that I would be able to actually live the life that I wanted not determined by someone else's paycheck. 

Nurse Amber came back to check on me, as she slowly set me up. I gazed my hand across my stomach as the tears began to fall. 

"It's going to be okay! Trust me," she said, as she gave another dose of medication. I was finally able to get the rest I deserved.