A Book Of Bullshit I Make Instead Of Sleeping Oops

Lancer v peeved about his orng

"Write about a character who is furious. Do not mention any emotions. Show the anger."

it was supposed to be a serious prompt oops

also fuck you autocorrect  

"FUCKING ORNG!" Lancer screamed, flinging the orange fruit across the room. Unfortunately, Edge was just walking in and got hit in the face.

"Lancer what the fuck?" Edge asked, overly confused as to why he'd been attacked by Rin's favorite fruit. "Why are you bullying the orng?"

"APAT."

"Four what?"

"I dunno man SD was trynna write a lemon but then Whit3Heart taught her how to count in Tagalog so she was counting obsessively and so later while she was writing that lemon she misspelled an English word as "spat" and kind of just rolled with it and no autocorrect it is not spat it is A P A T how come that was the only time you corrected it wtf"

"That was an unnecessarily detailed description/rant."

"Yes. Yes it was."

"This doesn't belong here this should be in that one shitposting book what's its face-"

"SD's next top module or whatever?"

"Yeah, that one. We're breaking the fourth wall here."

"Pfft. Who cares? It's literally called a book of bullshit I make instead of sleeping oops. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE BULLSHIT."

"Yeah but writing prompts."

"Edge strip."

"You didn't just say that."

"Actually I didn't. Autocorrect did. I was gonna say Edge stop doing something but then autocorrect decided on strip."

"Doesn't autocorrect say a lot about what someone writes on their phone?"

"Y e s."

"Any examples apart from SD's weird ass autocorrect?"

"Yeah actually. Her friend ravenclawpenguin is into K-pop and her autocorrect is all K-pop lyrics and ships. It's kind of scary because that's all on an English keyboard. SD has three keyboards downloaded except the Filipino one doesn't have an autocorrect for some reason. The English autocorrect is fucked up and the Japanese keyboard's suggestions are mostly the lyrics to Paradichlorobenzene."

"Why do you know this much you stalker"

"Edgy boi she's literally writing this I can know whatever the fuck she says I know"

"Okay okay just go back to screaming about your fucking orng"

"RIGHT MY FUCKING ORNG"

"What did I just unleash?"

"NOW THIS FUCKING ORNG," Lancer glared pointedly at the fruit, "THIS FUCKING ORNG TASTES AWFUL!"

Edge face palmed. "Dumbass, you don't eat the skin!"

"But you eat the skin on stew!"

"That sounds awful I feel like autocorrect struck again."

"It did. Idk why though I mean SD never writes about stew. When was the last time there was a fanfic with stew in it? Someone make this a thong pls."

"Lancer why"

"Autocorrect go suck a dick i meant to say thing not thong"

"Okay back to the orng."

"What was I screaming about again?"

"THE FUCKING ORNG"

"Since you have a FUCKINGCOUCH which is part of SD's phone's dictionary for some reason then I can have a FUCKINGORNG."

"That doesn't look as satisfying as FUCKINGCOUCH."

"Well I'm not gonna call it a FUCKINGORANGE because that sounds awful."

"FUCKINGORNG it is."

"It looks like 'fucking porn' misspelled."

"Shut up Lancer just deal with it."

"Whatever. AS I WAS SAYING. We ear the skin of strawberries and grapes and apples and mangoes, so why not orng?"

"AUTOCORRECT I FUCKING SWEAR."

"Yes. Clearly we ear the skin. What I MEANT TO SAY AUTOCORRECT is that we EAT the skin."

"This is starting to sound cannibalistic."

"Vanan'Ice exists."

"Good point. How do you even spell that though?"

"Honestly idk"

"Oh well. Back to your orng."

"Right. YEAH! HOW COME WE EAT THE SKIN OF THOSE FRUITS BUT NOT ORNG?"

"Wait hold up just a fucking second earlier you said you do eat the skin on mangoes that's not normal wtf"

"I DID YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT EDGY BOI?"

"Y e s. That is not normal. I swear if you watermelon-"

"Of course I eat watermelons with the skin on!"

"W h a t."

"This reminds me of that one dream SD had where Bad Boy was holding a watermelon but it had this really big seed poking out and it was bothering her so Rac (as an MMD model) yeeted in and pulled it out and SD had this great idea to look inside the watermelon."

"I don't like where this is going."

"Inside the watermelon it was this super large white room with shelves of grapes."

"Grapes? Inside a watermelon?"

"Yes and then Bad Boy dropped the watermelon which exploded and then the room was flooding with grapes and SD has not trusted watermelons since then."

"That was useless information."

"NO it was story time."

"What the actual fuck"

"Well there was that other dream where everyone in her grade was fighting this intense war against these random strangers and it was super intense I think I said that except while this was all serious shit they only attacked each other with panty liners"

"Stop talking no one needed to know that"

"Okay fair point back to orng"

"Yeah you were terrorizing children by eating the skin of fruits that you shouldn't eat the skin of"

"I was doing that!"

"That's not a good thing would you like me to peel your orng for you?"

"NO DON'T HURT THE ORNG"

"Stop. Please please please tell me you peel bananas before you eat them."

"No...??? Am I supposed to?"

Edgy boi cried on the floor for three hours while Lancer kinda just watched

"Okay I'm done crying on the floor for three hours" Edgy boi cheered because thanks autocorrect for suggesting such an out of place word for the situation.

"Welp. Can I scream about my orng again?"

"NO imma peel that fucking orng" and Edgy boi does that.

"nuuuuuUUUU what Has u DONE"

"I peeled the fucking orng so eat it" and then Edgy boi shoves the orng in Lancer's mouth and just leaves so Lancer he kinda just cri bc his precious fucking orng gas been assaulted

HAS NOT GAS

f u c k I n g a u t o c o r r e c t

h

autocorrect can die