A Book Of Bullshit I Make Instead Of Sleeping Oops

Accidental Love Triangle And Borderline Consensual Rape

"As a witch-hunter, you've learned that only the weakest witches are obsessed with runes and magical artifacts. This one just drew a wooden spoon from her pocket..."

DON'T RAPE PEOPLE

Lancer approaches the promiscuously dressed witch cautiously. The ginger in return only licks his spoon, disappearing into his cottage and leaving Lancer staring after him.

Sure, he might be a witch hunter, but damn that boy is sexy.

Cautiously, the blond pokes his head through the door, only to find the witch half undressed. He blushes, but can't tear his eyes away from smooth, unmarred skin, and toned limbs made strong from who knows what. That body calls to him, and he has to mentally scold his dick for twitching at the thought of the gorgeous ginger pinned down beneath him, breathy moans-

HUSH.

But those crimson lips, so soft-

SHUT IT.

Those incredible thighs-

LANCER. CALM. YOUR. FUCKING. NONEXISTENT. TIDDIES.

The witch hasn't noticed him yet, and is now fully naked.

Dammit.

Restraint leaves his system and he storms inside, pushing the shocked witch right up against the wall and kissing him, tongue ripping through his mouth, devouring him, hands clutching possessively to the absolutely perfect body in his grasp.

The witch makes a small noise, squirming to escape but Lancer kisses him harder, stroking hair out of his face with one hand, squeezing his ass with the other.

The witch's cheeks are bright red, and he reaches out for the wooden spoon. Lancer chooses that moment to kiss down his jawline and sensitive neck, and the ginger moans, abandoning his task.

He slides down the wall, knees growing weaker and weaker as Lancer abuses his sensitive spots. In no time he's gasping and panting, begging for more.

"What's your name?" Lancer asks. He's already seduced a creature that he's supposedly sworn to kill. He's never known a witch's name before anyway.

"I-I'm Edge."

"Lancer."

The blushing ginger has a dazed look in his eyes, salivating from the tongue heavy kisses and the love peppered across his neck and chest.

Lancer is now stuck with a Boner That Won't Go Away. He turns Edge so that the ginger is facing the wall.

Kissing his spine, he forces two fingers into the witch, rapidly stretching him out and is somewhat oblivious to the pain the ginger is in.

Edge claws at the wall, face pressed against it. The construction of his cottage is pretty weak, and eventually he tears through the packed dirt wall. Lancer's eyes flash with something, and he punches through said wall.

"That's my fucking haAHH~!" Edge's protest is interrupted by a slight change in Lancer's angle. He wants something bigger inside him, something longer.

Lancer withdraws, using the full extent of his strength to push Edge against the wall. The ginger whimpers, consoled by Lancer mildly nibbling at his ear. Finally the wall gives way, and Lancer pushes Edge's torso through it, holding his hips in place.

"What the-?" Edge scrabbles for grip on something, as he feels to vulnerable in this position. He'd rather not be a feast for Lancer's eyes, but then Lancer suddenly pounds into him and he lets out a screech.

It feels so fucking good.

He howls the man's name, falling apart in pleasure and letting go of everything. His magic is working on the house and repairing it, and he can feel packed dirt starting to close in around him just below his ribcage.

Lancer thrusts at a slightly different angle, hitting his prostate dead on.

He screeches, flailing wildly in his bliss. His stomach is tight, and squeezes tighter and tighter the harder Lancer fucks him until finally, it's released as a powerful orgasm that has him writhing.

He's very lightheaded now, the magical wall starting to constrict around him. It's going to crush him, he realizes. Was this the witch hunter's plan all along? To kill him by fucking him through the wall? But he couldn't know about the wall's properties, Edge himself didn't realize the wall would do it.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, Edge?"

The ginger hears the blond's words only vaguely, but can sense the concern. He smiles tiredly. "Thank you."

The witch's body goes limp as the wall fully reconstructs itself, compacting as tightly as it can to fill all the space around the gorgeous ginger.

Lancer stares in horror at what's happened because of him, and though it's his job to hunt and kill witches, this terrifies him and it hurts like hell.

Only now does he see the pictures all over the cottage, ones of the ginger he'd just fucked with another blond. They seemed awfully close in those photos...

That's also when he realizes that the bed is rather large for one person, as is the cottage.

Then he finally spots the names.

White Edge, the hot ginger witch that again, he'd just fucked and also been the death of.

Receiver, likely the blond in all those pictures.

Fuck.

They were ma-

A spoon impales itself in Lancer's chest. He turns slowly, painfully, and in his fading consciousness, he sees that Receiver's come home.