ʀᴜɪɴ ᴍᴇ

Regret

"I'm sorry...."

"you been apologizing for the past 30 minutes.. Jisung it's fine. Don't worry about it."

Jisung stare at the older's back, who seem to refuse to look at him straight in the eye. Or maybe jisung was overthinking the whole situation but still...

"chan..hyung im sorry for being stupid"

Thats when the male shifted around so he could be finally face jisung.

"how long are you going to keep on apologizing?"

Jisung bit his bottom lip as his eyes shifted away from chan. In all honestly, he felt so ashamed and guilty of the events that happened between them. Chan was right,he wasn't in the right state of mind but he didn't listen.. He kept insisting. He could already feel his eyes getting watery which chan was quick to notice. Chan gently wiped a tear away with his thumb.

"..Don't cry.. I'm not upset if that's what worries you..I should be the one apologizing not you.."

Jisung blinked the tears away as he sniffed."..no.. Why would you need to apologize?.. It's not your fault hyung..!" chan let out a small chuckled as he creases the squirrel's cheek."..I'm sorry for I should haven't kissed you in the first place.. If I hadn't. We wouldn't had come to this.." bang chan quietly said,he smiled sadly at the younger. "you're apologizng because you're regretting it..isn't that right jisung?" jisung remain quiet,he didn't know what to say or what he could say at that moment.
Chan dryly chuckled as he pulled his hand away from the younger's face before he sat up from the bed.

"h-hyung..where are you going..? "

"...I'm just taking a walk jisung.."And with that he left the room. Jisung stayed still under the covers,still staring at the same spot where chan was. He could hear the front door being open and then close,signaling that chan had left the dorm itself as well.

It's been a week from that incident and chan had been avoiding him ever since. He' no longer shows up when 3racha have their meetings ,well only if jisung is around. No matter how many times jisung had message and call chan, no replies and he never picks up the call. Jisung knew he screw up big time,everything was going down hill. Everything seem so fine at first but now everything was crashing down and eating him alive. Even Felix and seungmin took a notice of his changed behavior but no matter how hard they tried,jisung refused to open his mouth and tell them.

' what if they think differently of me..?

' what if they don't want to be my friends anymore? '

' what if they are disgusted..? '

' what if they think I'm a slut..?'

Those thoughts roam in head,each night. Keeping him awake with his dark thoughts and worries. Jisung hold tightly on the strap of his bag as he squish his way throughout the busy hallway. He was just trying to make it to his last class of the day on time. The moment he step into class, all eyes were on him, which made him anxious of having all the attention. He looked down to avoid all contact and made his way to his desk and sit down.

He could still feel the stares on him..and soon the whispers begin.

' I heard noises coming from the dorm down the hall..'

' I heard a guy moaning from next door..'

' I couldn't sleep well because I heard a bed creaking'

' I saw that guy leaving the dorm that next day..'

' isn't that Bang Chan's dorm though..? '

Jisung felt his heart dropped,he could feel himself started to breathing heavily. He looked down on his hands to see them shaking.