Bitlife

Jerry Simpson

Age: 0 years
I was born a male in Charlotte, United States. I was an accident after my mother got sloppy with her birth control. My name is Jerry Simpson. My father is Paul Simpson, a midwife (age 27). My mother is Allison Durant, a grocer (age 28). I have an older brother named Walter (age 3).

Age: 1 year

Age: 2 years
My mother and my father had a baby boy named Anthony, my new brother. He was conceived after my father's condom broke.

Age: 3 years
My big brother, Walter, started elementary school.

Age: 4 years

Age: 5 years

Age: 6 years
I started elementary school.

Age: 7 years

Age: 8 years
My little brother, Anthony, started elementary school.

Age: 9 years
I went to a hot dog eating contest with my mother.

Age: 10 years

Age: 11 years

Age: 12 years
My big brother, Walter, started high school.

Age: 13 years
I am now going out with Margot Powell.

Age: 14 years
Margot broke up with me. I begged her to stay and she changed her mind.

Age: 15 years
My big brother, Walter, graduated from high school. I started high school.

Age: 16 years
My big brother, Walter, enlisted in the Navy. A cyclone of never-before-seen strength ravages 243 square miles of land in India, displacing 1,529 people. Margot broke up with me. I begged her to stay and she changed her mind. I passed my driving test and got a driving license.

Age: 17 years
Margot started high school. My big brother, Walter, married Elizabeth Hux, a 20-year old grocer. He has been promoted to Seaman Apprentice. My little brother, Anthony, started high school. Margot broke up with me. I begged her to stay but she left anyway.

Age: 18 years
My big brother, Walter, has been promoted to Seaman. I graduated from high school.

Age: 19 years
My big brother, Walter, has been promoted to Petty Officer Third Class.

Age: 20 years
My big brother, Walter, and Elizabeth Hux divorced. My little brother, Anthony, graduated from high school.

Age: 21 years
My big brother, Walter, has been promoted to Petty Officer Second Class. My little brother, Anthony, enlisted in the Air Force.

Age: 22 years
My little brother, Anthony, has been promoted to Airman. I decided to have a one night stand with Payton Park. I practiced unsafe sex.

Age: 23 years
My big brother, Walter, has been promoted to Petty Officer First Class. My little brother, Anthony, has been promoted to Airman First Class. My father expressed concern that I don't have a job. I decided to see what jobs were available. I was hired for the position of Jr. Bartender for United Restaurant with a salary of $19,915.

Age: 24 years
My little brother, Anthony, married Sierra Hayes, a 25-year old flight attendant. He has been promoted to Senior Airman.

Age: 25 years
My little brother, Anthony, and his wife, Sierra, had a baby boy named Gregory Simpson.

Age: 26 years
My big brother, Walter, has been promoted to Chief Petty Officer. My little brother, Anthony, has been promoted to Staff Sergeant.

Age: 27 years
My little brother, Anthony, and his wife, Sierra, had a baby boy named Marcus Simpson. I have been promoted to Bartender with a salary of $40,697.