Bitlife

Joshua Azalea

Age: 0 years
I was born a male in Perth, Australia. I was conceived on the beach in Hawaii. My birthday is June 30. I am a Cancer. My name is Joshua Azalea. My father is Felix Azalea, a flight attendant (age 43). My mother is Lola Azalea, a cameraman (age 36). I have an older sister named Lucy (age 13). We have a family cat named August.

Age: 1 year
My big sister, Lucy, started high school.

Age: 2 years

Age: 3 years
My father was killed in a bar fight. I paid my respects at his funeral.

Age: 4 years
My big sister, Lucy, graduated from high school. I have been diagnosed with depression.

Age: 5 years
My big sister, Lucy, started a new position as Probationary Firefighter for Perth Fire Department. A determined horde of locust consumes 1,243 acres of vegetation in Ethiopia. The resulting drought claims 30 lives.

Age: 6 years
My big sister, Lucy, moved out. I started elementary school.

Age: 7 years
My big sister, Lucy, has been promoted to Firefighter. My new teacher keeps telling me how wild my big sister, Lucy, used to be in their class.

Age: 8 years
A devastating 7.0 magnitude earthquake strikes Kyoto, resulting in the loss of 381 lives. 81,038 more are left without power for weeks. My cat, August, left a dead weasel on my pillow. I worked with him on his behavior.

Age: 9 years
My big sister, Lucy, has been promoted to Fire Equipment Operator. I'm beginning to wonder if my big sister, Lucy, has an internet addiction.

Age: 10 years
I looked directly into a solar eclipse and couldn't see for 12 days. I admitted to my mother that I broke her refrigerator.

Age: 11 years
A local holiday bringing in thousands of tourists inadvertently generates an immense avalanche in Canada, killing 45 people.

Age: 12 years
I have been diagnosed with anxiety.

Age: 13 years
I went with the cool kids at school to go see Beam Me Up Lewis.

Age: 14 years
I started high school.

Age: 15 years
My cat, August, was electrocuted after chewing through an electrical cord. I passed my driving test and got a driving license.

Age: 16 years

Age: 17 years
I graduated from high school. I wore the same socks for 5 weeks. I applied to university and was accepted. I enrolled in university for free thanks to Australia's public education system. I started university.

Age: 18 years
I am cured of depression.

Age: 19 years
My big sister, Lucy, married Felix Harvey, a 26-year old flight attendant. She changed her name to Lucy Harvey. Mother nature moved her body in a dangerous cyclone through India. Most evacuated, however 17 deaths have been confirmed. I am cured of anxiety.

Age: 20 years
I've received about 191 spam emails a day lately and I'm wondering if someone is out to get me.

Age: 21 years
I graduated from university with an undergraduate degree in psychology. I was hired for the position of School Psychologist for Perth Public Schools with a salary of $37,936.

Age: 22 years
I'm starting to suspect that my mother has started menopause.

Age: 23 years
My big sister, Lucy, and her husband, Felix, had a baby boy named Lachlan Harvey. I have been given a raise of 5.7%. My salary is now $40,090. I am now dating Ella Lewis.

Age: 24 years
My big sister, Lucy, and her husband, Felix, had a baby girl named Alexis Harvey. Ella is pregnant with my baby! We're keeping it!