Bitlife

Darell Alexander

Age: 0 years
I was born a male in Jacksonville, United States. I was conceived after my parents met and fornicated on a nude beach. My name is Darell Alexander. My mother is Jasmin Alexander, a Navy enlistee (age 28). My father is unknown.

Age: 1 year
My mother has been promoted to Chief Petty Officer.

Age: 2 years
A towering tsunami crashes into New Zealand's seaboard. 347 people couldn't make it out in time.

Age: 3 years
Mother nature moved her body in a dangerous cyclone through Australia. Most evacuated, however 7 deaths have been confirmed. I am suffering from the flu.

Age: 4 years
My mother gave birth to a boy named Terrance Alexander, my new half brother. He was conceived after a failed pull-out. My mother has been promoted to Senior Chief Petty Officer.

Age: 5 years
I admitted to my mother that I broke her flower pot.

Age: 6 years
I started elementary school. I took my half brother, Terrance, to watch New Kids On The Block music videos.

Age: 7 years

Age: 8 years
My mother gave birth to a boy named Terrell Nguyen, my new half brother. He was the result of a random Tinder hookup. I am suffering from pneumonia.

Age: 9 years
An airliner from the Philippines has crashed while on final descent in Quezon City, killing 96 people.

Age: 10 years
My half brother, Terrance, started elementary school. Massive landslides in Sweden coat essential highways in loose earth. Emergency responders report 43 deaths due to lack of resources. I took my half brother, Terrell, to an indoor trampoline park.

Age: 11 years

Age: 12 years

Age: 13 years
I asked Grace Lukes out and she rejected me.

Age: 14 years
My half brother, Terrell, started elementary school. I squabbled with my half brother, Terrance, about how he read my diary. I apologized to him for squabbling.

Age: 15 years
I started high school.

Age: 16 years
Fossil fuels are now officially a thing of the past. I passed my driving test and got a driving license.

Age: 17 years
I took my half brother, Terrance, to a cricket match.

Age: 18 years
I graduated from high school. I applied to university and was accepted. I was awarded a scholarship to university. I started university.

Age: 19 years
My half brother, Terrance, started high school.

Age: 20 years
I tried laughing gas.

Age: 21 years

Age: 22 years
My half brother, Terrance, graduated from high school. I graduated from university with an undergraduate degree in chemistry. I applied to pharmacy school and was accepted. I was awarded a scholarship to pharmacy school. I started pharmacy school.

Age: 23 years
My half brother, Terrance, started a new position as Receptionist for Peacock Global. My half brother, Terrell, started high school.

Age: 24 years
My half brother, Terrance, moved out.

Age: 25 years

Age: 26 years
My half brother, Terrell, graduated from high school. I graduated from pharmacy school. I was hired for the position of Jr. Pharmacist for Tommy Wallace with a salary of $72,696.

Age: 27 years
My half brother, Terrell, started a new position as Probationary Firefighter for Jacksonville Fire Department.

Age: 28 years
My half brother, Terrell, moved out. I have been given a raise of 3.4%. My salary is now $75,132. Orgasmic meditation sanctuaries are all the rage in South Africa.