The Queen's Thief

Chapter 28: Knives and Arrows

*27 years old*
*Storybrooke*
~Sam's pov~

I've been talking with Doctor Hopper for about an hour know discussing a new memory of mine. He said he wants to make sure it was truly a memory and not just a dream since it came to me last night right before I fell asleep.

"Look I know you all worry about me. I promise I'm fine." I said as I took a drink of coffee. "I told her in 4 years that if she still felt the same I'd do whatever she wanted. She never said anything, so she got over that moment of loneliness."

"Something while talking with you about your memories and more personal discussions I noticed something." He pushed up his glasses slightly. "You don't see yourself as important. You always talk down about yourself and make it seem like you're not possible to love."

"So?"

"Do you like who you are?"

He finally asked a question that actually made me think. I never thought about that before.

"Sam?"

I guess I took to long to think.

"I don't know." I placed the mug down on his coffee table. "I've never thought about it. I like that I've done good in the world. That I've helped people. I've made other people happy, but I think I regret not ever trying to make myself happy. I never tried to be anything but what people wanted me to be."

Holy shit that was a lot deeper than I thought. Is this question just getting to me?

"Now tell me if I'm wrong, but I think you're not happy because you never let you be yourself."

"I honestly don't know. I mean yea I don't see anyone being interested in me, but if I truly didn't want to do any of the things I did and let it shape me to be me I could have left at any time." I stood up and grabbed my jacket. "I think I let it consume me so I never took the time to be myself."

"You're leaving?" He asked as he stood up.

"Yea. I have to go walk Patr and take some time to think."

I was walking home when I was pulled into an alley and a knife was placed against my throat. I sighed as I looked at my attacker.

"What do you want Cora?"

"Why are you in this place?" She asked as she pressed the knife harder against my throat.

"I live in this place." I mocked as she pressed me against the cold brick wall.

"Is your beast with you?" She seemed desperate.

"Patr? Why do you want to know?"

"Take me to him now." She commanded as she pulled the knife from my throat.

"And if I refuse?" She cut against my face before showing me the blood on her knife. "Yea. I'm gonna need more than that."

"Is your life really worth a little bit of fur from your beast?"

"No, but I don't think anything you would do with it would be helpful to anyone but yourself so..." I acted like I was thinking. "I'll stick with I'm not helping you."