Chapter 10

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Paige's POV

"Hello beautiful." I crinkled my nose and looked behind me.

"Oh, hey luke" I laughed, patting the space next to me. He came over and sat down beside me.

"What are you doing up here?" He asked. I was sitting on my balcony, watching the sun.

"Waiting for the sunset. What are you doing?" I asked. He looked at the sky.

"I'm bored."

"Oh."

"Yeah." He turned to me like he was about to ask me something, but decided not to.

"Luke you pretty much know everything about me. You can ask me anything." He bit the inside of his cheek.

"If this question puts you in a sad or angry place, you don't have to answer it. You don't have to okay?" I nodded my head slowly, unsure of what he was about to ask.

"W-who's Anna?" My eyes shot to my lap.

"I-I uh. Well I-"

"I'm sorry, forget I asked" he said. I could tell he felt bad. I sighed. I wanted to tell him, so bad. I just didn't know what he'd think.

We sat there for a minute in silence, as I debated whether I should tell him. I took a deep breath. Here it goes.

"I use to have a twin sister. She wasn't identical to me, but she understood me more than anyone else. My dad was never nice to her, he was never afraid to say what was on his mind. But to me, he was different. I guess I was his favorite. Anyway, my sister was sad. She always was. I guess me and her shared that, I was just better at hiding it. She'd come into my room crying late at night, telling me all of the awful things my dad said to her. And I did nothing about it, other than tell her everything's going to be okay. But I wasn't so sure. She fell deeper into depression, and I remember overhearing her talking to herself about how she wanted to die. I couldn't handle it anymore, Luke. My own sister was falling apart. So I approached my dad. I started yelling at him, telling him he was the worst father alive. During all of my yelling, she came up behind me and covered my mouth with her hand. She told me that I was wrong. That HE wasn't a bad father, she was just a bad daughter. But I denied it. She was the one that was wrong. And I was the only one that knew it. She began yelling at my dad saying 'Don't you want to kill me dad, don't you want to hit me? Go on. Hit me. I deserve it.' And I just stood there like a fucking jerk and did nothing about it. That was the first time my dad ever hit her. And after that, it didn't stop. But I was too afraid to stop him. So I let it happen. A week later, I found her in her room..." Luke was close to me now. His eyes showed sympathy as tears rolled out of them. I refused to let myself cry.

"I found her hanging from her ceiling fan, with a scarf around her neck." A tear began to emerge, but I swiped it away.

"My dad thought I hung her there. It sounds crazy but I mean, he's crazy. And that's how my best friend died." My eyes lingered onto my lap as Luke placed his warm hand under my chin.

"I- is... Is that who Anna is?" I nodded slightly and looked into his icy blue eyes.

"Did you believe Justin when he said it was your fault..." I didn't answer him.

"Paige that wasn't your fault"

"Yes it was."

"It was your dad's fault. How could-"

"I could have saved her. But I didn't."

"No... No Paige. Even if you stood up to him, that wouldn't have changed anything. He would have just hit you too. Look at me." I glanced up at him

"None of this is your fault, okay?" I didn't believe him, but from the look in his eye, I could tell that HE believed it. I nodded quickly and wiped another tear away that was threatening to fall.

"Paige? Please answer me truthfully. Has your father ever hit you..." I looked down on my shoulder, showing a faded bruise to Luke.

"I didn't fall. A beer bottle hit me" I said,

"This morning." I whispered, lifting my shirt and unwrapping the bandage that was secretly hiding underneath it. three deep cuts showed across the whole front of my stomach.

"He was drunk today. He's always drunk. I-I thought I was gonna die wh-when he pulled out that knife. But if he wanted to kill me, he would have done it already." Luke was in total shock. He reached his hand out to my stomach and softly stroked around the deep incisions. I continued.

"When you overheard my dad the first time, and I told you he didn't hurt me, I was telling the truth. The only reason his words hurt so much that day was because I knew he was speaking honestly." Luke placed his soft lips onto my forehead and closed his eyes.

"How did you know he was speaking honestly?" I sighed and placed my head into the croak of his neck.

"He was sober. For the first time in forever, my dad was stable. And he still hated me." Luke brought my head up to meet his gaze.

"And yet, you still aren't crying." I gave him a small half smile

"I am crying, Luke. You just can't see it."

"I can see it."

"Well then you're the only person in the world that can." I wrapped my arm around the fence that kept us from falling, and looked at the sunset.

"You're the bravest girl I've met."

"You get used to things after a while."

"You shouldn't have to."

"I didn't have much of a choice."

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