My Love, Brian May

I'm Ugly

     He looks in my eyes and smiles. He then crashes his lips on mine again. I place my hands around his neck as he moved his hands around my back. It was such a wonderful feeling. The feeling of someone caring about you. Images of Peter(ex) began flashing in my head, causing me to part away from his soft lips.
     I hold my wrist and feel the scar. I take a deep breath and look back into his worried eyes.
     "Brian, I love you...a lot. More than anything in this universe. But I'm afraid to love anyone ever since my betrayal. I don't want to be hurt again." I rub my scarred wrist again, tears filling my eyes once more. He takes my hand and separates it from my wrist. He takes them in his hands and hold them.
     "Izzy. You have no idea how much I want you to be mine. Everyday, your face comes in my mind. Before I sleep, your smile is stitched in my brain. I love you so much. I would never hurt you in any way...ever." Tears were rolling down his face. I felt his finger caress over my scar, making the tears fall faster. "Promise you would never hurt yourself again. In any way. Please. I can't stand the fact that you would want to do that to your beautiful self. It breaks my heart." He presses his lips together and lowers his head, still holding my hands.
     I grit my teeth together and look at the window. It was raining, making the scene sadder. I look back at him, his head still lowered as if he was praying.
     I take my hand and lift his head. I look into his red eyes, and wipe a falling tear. I smile and pull him into another kiss. I release and look into his eyes again.
"I promise. I love you Brian May." I say, smiling and stroking his beautiful face. He begins to spread a small smile and pulled me into a big hug.
We separate and I look down at my watch. 11:30 pm. I was really tired and tomorrow was Sunday. My birthday. I yawn and he seems to know that I'm tried and gets up to his dresser. He pulls out a pair of blue shorts and a white button up shirt. He hands them to me and pecks me on the lips once more. I get up and walk to the bathroom down the hall.
I close the door and undress myself. I look at my body in the mirror. I wasn't beautiful. Not even close. Shire my shape was nice, but I still had the smallest bit of skin piled onto of my stomach. I look at all the scratch scars from Peter's beatings. He would take his belt off and whip me. I furrow my eyebrows in the memory.
I put the shorts on and tie my hair in a high ponytail. I slid the shirt on and began buttoning the white buttons until you could only see a bit of my chest. I saw the shirt hang down to my bum, making me laugh. I open the door and walk back to Brian's room. He's already in a pair of striped pajama pants and no shirt. His necklaces hung over his chest making him look hotter.
As I get closer, he looks up and down at my body. I blush and walk over to his rather big bed...probably bigger than mine.
"You look beautiful darling." He says planting a kiss on the top of my head.
"No I don't. And I know I don't, but I don't really mind anymore." I say looking up to him and smiling. He places a hand on my cheek, I place my hand on top of his feeling his ring under my fingers. It made me smile even more.
He sits down next to me. I lean my head on his shoulder. He leans his head on top on mine, stroking my shoulder.
"Which side of the bed do you sleep on?" I ask laughing.
"Which ever side the opposite of yours." He replies kissing my head again.
"I call the wall. I have the tendency of falling off unfamiliar beds." I say.
He laughs and goes for the edge. I crawl over him to the wall. I go under the covers and inhale his scent. It was so soothing. He turned around and propped his head on his hand, holding him up. I scorched closer to his chest inhaling the sweet but not too strong cologne. He strokes my hair until I fall asleep, dreaming sweet dreams of him.

Next day...

     I slowly come back to reality and feel for Brian next to me I don't feel anything so I sit up and look around his room. The sun hit through the blinds, making me cover my eyes. I rub my tired eyes and throw my legs over the edge of the bed, allowing me to wake up a bit more. I see the door slowly open and in comes Brian, all dressed, carrying a cupcake with a lit
candle on it.
     "You are too much." I mumble, my voice raspy.
     "Well like I said the other day, you only turn 18 once." He replies, slowly walking up to me with the cake.
     I run my fingers through my hair and get up. I walk to him and he holds it up to my eye level.
     "Happy birthday Izzy. Make a wish." He whispers.
     I look at the flame and close my eyes. I open them and lightly blew it out.
     "So what did you wish for?" He asks.
     "That's for me to know and for you to find out." I reply.
     He unfolds the wrapper and holds it up to my face.
     "Go on take a bite. My mother made it." He says.
     I move the hair out of my face and lean to take a bite. He suddenly pulls the sweet away and pulls my lips onto his.
I kiss him back, stroking his thick curls. He pulls away, smiling.
"Gotcha." He whispers.
"Is that so?" I peck him again on the lips.
"Yes, you weren't expecting it were you?"
"I guess not."
"I arrest my case." He gets up and reaching for a towel. "I'm going to take a quick shower. I won't be long."
"I don't mind. I might help your mum in the kitchen." I say getting up.
"If you choose." He sighs and rolls his eyes.
He walks off the the bathroom. Just the the door closes I get up and walk to the kitchen. I see Ruth making scrambled eggs and bacon. But isn't Brian vegetarian? Huh?
I walk into the room and she immediately turns around. Pure joy is spread across her face as she runs over to hug me, again. My arms stiffen as she squeezes me like it's the last time.
She releases me and holds my arms as she looks at me up and down. I flash a fake smile and she smirks.
"Your wearing my Brian's clothes." She states and looks down at my shorts and shirt. I look down and blush. I should have changed. Too late now.
I look back up to her with rosy cheeks. "Yeah, I forgot my clothes at my house." I say, hugging myself to cover my chest. "Do you need any help?" I ask, looking at the pan of eggs.
     "Oh honey it's fine. Leave it all up to me. Your Brian's guest and you deserve to sit down and rest." She replies walking back to the sizzling pan.
     But I just woke up. Ok? I take a seat by the table and look around at their beautiful kitchen. I hadn't notice the beautiful chandler hanging from the center of the very tall ceiling. It was so beautiful.
     I turn to see a little journal on the table. On the cover had the initials B.M. I open it and am greeted by a ton of music notes, chords, comments, lyrics, dynamics, and rhythms. I turn the pages and see a bunch of totals as I flip by. I turn to a page titled '39.
      The lyrics were absolutely heartwarming. I continued flipping through the songs until I hear a set of footsteps approach the door way to the hallway. I look up to see Brian leaning against the door frame, buttoning his shirt. His hair was a bit damp, but still quite poofy and curly.
     I instantly close the book and set it aside. I flash him a smile and he just laughs while continuing to button his white shirt. I blush at his half bare chest.
     He slowly walks up to me and places his hands on my shoulders, lightly messaging them. He then leans in to my ear.
     "Were you peeking at my song writings?" He whispers, sending shivers down my spine.
     "I...I was only looking. I promise. They're really good." I mumble.
     "Which one did you like the best?" He asks sitting down next to me as Ruth served us breakfast.
     "I really liked '39. It's very, relatable and soothing." I reply cutting my egg.
     Brian looks down at his plate, specifically the bacon.
     "Um mum?" He asks.
     "What seems to be the problem dear?" She asks.
     "Um, I don't eat meat." He says, frowning at the bacon.
     "Oh I'm so sorry honey. I totally forgot." She says taking the bacon off and putting it on her plate. "Can you believe this man doesn't eat meat?" She asks looking at me with confusion.
     "I actually think it's very thoughtful of him. He puts others in front of himself, whether they're human or not." I say putting my hand on his.
     He smiles at me and squeezes my hand. I smile back at him and continue to eat my breakfast.
     We both finish and help wash the dishes. We then head into his room so I could get dressed. I grab my previous clothes and head to the bathroom, but before I could do that I was stopped by a hand on my shoulder. I turn to see him slightly confused.
     "Why don't you just get dressed in here?" He asks.
     I grip my clothes even tighter. I look down at my stomach and thought of the scars. I look back up at him.
     "I just...don't feel confident enough to show you my body." I say hugging my stomach. He takes my hand and pulls it away from my bit of belly fat.
     "Izzy, you are beautiful. Whether you think that or not."
     "You don't know that. You've never seen me without a shirt or pants." I reply looking up at him. He lets go of me and leans on one hip, arms crossed.
     "Ok, let's see it then. Show me your not beautiful." He says and gestures me to take my clothes off. I blush and think of the reaction I'll get when he sees I'm not skinny, nor perfect.
     "Alright fine!" I yell and drop my clothes. I hold the hem of my shirt and hesitate. I then to proceed and took my shirt off revealing my gray bra. I see him looking at me and slide the shorts off showing my matching underwear. I lean on one hip and let my hands fall to my sides. "Happy now?" I say throwing my hands in the air.
     He slowly walks towards me. I begin to get self confident again, and wrap my arms around my waist.
     "Your right, your not beautiful...your absolutely breathtaking." He sighs, still looking at my body. I grab a bit of my skin and pull it outward.
     "How do you see beauty in this. This isn't breathtaking. It's ugly. I'm ugly." I start to get teary eyed and pick my clothes and proceed to put my clothes on.
     "Isabelle Marie Curry!" He yells. I look up to him surprised. He hasn't called me by my first name in a long time. "Don't you EVER, say that to yourself, ever again! You hear me?! Your too beautiful to hate yourself like this! It breaks my heart when you say these things about yourself."
      I look down and keep putting my clothes on. He doesn't get it. I've always hated myself. I wish I was like those other beautiful, skinny girls. They're perfect and love themselves. I can barely stand to look at myself in a bikini. He pulls my face up to look at him.
     "Promise me!" He says looking deeply into my eyes.
     I purse my lips and hold back my tears.
     "I...I.. need to go home." I whisper. Tears run down my cheeks and I rub out the door.
     "Izzy wait!" I hear Brian chase after me to the kitchen. I quickly put my shoes on but he's already caught up to me. He grabs my hand and try's to stop me. I yank myself out of his grasp and run outside, immediately hit by the cold.
     I run to my car and realize my keys are in the house. I see Brian twirling the keys on his finger, standing in the doorway. I sigh and walk towards him hanging my head low.
     "Let me take you to coffee. We can talk there" He says throwing the keys to me.