Morning Looks Good on You - [Shawn Mendes]

Chapter 36

Wednesday rolls around quickly and I head into work hoping no one asks why I'm taking tomorrow off. I told Greg I was going to meet an old friend for lunch, so I didn't lie to him but I still didn't tell the whole truth. Maybe this is a bad idea.
I consider cancelling on Shawn and telling him that I'm ill but I delete the message as quickly as I'd typed it. He's just a friend nothing more, I shouldn't feel guilty.
After an hour of debating with myself I shuffle over in my wheeled office chair to Charlottes desk.
"Okay I need your help, should I feel guilty for going to see a guy I used to have a thing with?" I say.

"Have you told your boyfriend?" She asks.

"Yea, well not that he's an old flame but that I'm going to meet an old friend"

"And that's all he is? A friend?" she asks with an eyebrow raised.

"Yea well he lives far away so I'd have no chance with him anyway, that's why we didn't work out" I explain.

"Well if there's no romantic feelings there then no you shouldn't feel guilty" she says.

"Okay thanks" I say with a fake smile, my stomach was in knots. I don't know if I have feelings left for Shawn or not, I guess I'll find out soon enough.
The next morning I put on an emerald jumper tucked into some black skinny jeans with black dr Martin boots, I can't decide whether to take a coat or not but I grab my rain coat just to be safe.
The 2 hour drive to Dublin is incredibly boring on my own, I tap along on the steering wheel to a new Fleetwood Mac cassette tape I'd found in a thrift store few days earlier. As I enter the city a wave of anxiety comes over me.
This is going to be so awkward, why the hell did you come?
I brush off the feeling, what did I have to loose? Shawn and I had barely spoken in months anyway.
I grab my satchel back pack and stick my wallet into it before slinging it onto my back. Shawn chose to eat at the burger palace that we ate in last January.
I call him as I walk down the street, I grow more and more nervous with each ring before he picks up.

"Hey, I'm walking to the place now, I'll get a table" I say quickly.

"Oh cool, get a table for three" he says and I smile at hearing his voice for the first time in a while. I then quickly become disappointed, who could he be bringing?

"Ugh Okay see you soon" I say before hanging up. I try think of who Shawn could be bringing, maybe his manager or something.

"Table for three" I say politely and the lady shows me to a table near the back, I sit and play on my phone until I hear Shawn voice as he enters.
A girl follows behind him she's blonde with a pretty smile, I recognise her but I can't put my finger on where from. I try to hide that fact that I'm disappointed that it's not just me and Shawn and that I'm annoyed that Shawn would bring someone when he knows how nervous I get around new people, as if this wasn't awkward enough already. I take a deep breath and smile as he approaches me then stand to hug him.

"Jenny this is Bree" Jenny? Not Jen? Wow I have clearly been demoted from a close friend to an acquaintance.

"Nice to meet you" I say as I shake her hand.
Bree? I comb threw memories and suddenly remember her. She's the merch girl who Shawn had brought home that night I'd called and who caught us kissing in Shawns dressing room, my cheek immediately get warm and red thinking about it.
We sit awkwardly for a few seconds. "So what brings you to Dublin?" I ask.

"A radio station is holding a gig, there's loads of artists preforming" Shawn explains.

"Oh Okay, I know the one" I say. "But I never read the line up" I laugh a little, god this is awkward. We order our food and have some boring small talk, the thing I hate most.

"Excuse me, I'm going to use the restroom" Shawn says and as he stands up. Before he leave he kisses Bree on the cheek for an uncomfortably long time, and I look away. PDA makes me want to scream, especially when it's a guy you still may have feelings for with another girl. As if I didn't feel like a third wheel already.
I guess Shawn was trying to send me a message that they're a thing, my heart feels heavy and all I want to do is go home.